"Ah, Ain... What's going on..."
The door opened along with Iris's voice.
It seemed she'd come after hearing me kick the window frame.
Iris spoke after identifying the other person in the room.
"...Miss Giselle?"
"Hello, Lady Iris."
Giselle greeted her in a calm voice.
I knelt before Giselle without a word, clutching at my face and hair.
I heard Iris click her tongue.
"Still rude as ever in speech and behavior.
Get away from my brother."
"I came because I wanted to talk with Ain alone.
Could you close the door and leave?"
"I know you lack manners from growing up under a widower, Miss Giselle.
Shut your mouth and get away from my Ain."
My mind cleared at the unfamiliar tone, and I looked at Iris.
Iris was glaring at Giselle, biting her lip.
In the dark room, her narrow yellow pupils glowed.
"It's just a conversation between lovers.
Lady Iris doesn't need to concern herself."
"You crazy bitch, who gave you permission to call yourselves lovers.
Maybe I should rip that mouth open for the crime of trespassing."
—Grind
Iris ground her teeth as if forcibly suppressing her anger.
Despite her warning, Giselle didn't move.
Iris quickly approached and shoved Giselle hard against the wall.
"You throw him away and now come back causing trouble.
What, did you start thinking he was too good to give to someone else?
The man you should be visiting is someone else.
The Grand Duke must be waiting eagerly for you in his bedroom—shouldn't you hurry there?"
"If you're talking about the rumors, I was just explaining everything to Ain.
But I don't feel like doing the same for Lady Iris."
Iris poked Giselle's forehead as she spoke.
Giselle's red eyes stared at the finger poking her without blinking.
"Is your fucking head empty or something?
You and Ain are nothing to each other anymore."
"Lady Iris, I don't like others touching my body."
Heat shimmered from Giselle's hands.
The wallpaper behind her began to scorch.
"...Giselle."
"Yes, Ain."
"Leave. Please."
My voice had no strength.
I didn't even have the energy to be angry.
Hearing my feeble words, Giselle's flames died down.
I rolled my eyes to look at Giselle's face.
Her pale face still showed no expression.
"If that's your choice, Ain, I'll wait."
"Don't say anything more. I don't want to hear it."
Giselle turned toward her entrance—the now-broken window.
She placed a thick brown envelope on the windowsill.
"I bought medicine, but you seem to have recovered already, so it doesn't look necessary. Ain.
Still, just in case, I'll leave it here."
Instead of me, who gave no answer, Giselle spoke to Iris.
"Oh, Lady Iris. I received the gift you sent.
The scent was too strong, so I didn't open it."
"...What are you talking about."
Iris clicked her tongue again at the incomprehensible words.
"I'll come again, Ain..."
Giselle's words trailed off unusually.
I didn't know why.
I just cast an empty gaze at Giselle, containing neither resentment nor anger.
"I'll come again. Yes."
With those final words, Giselle leaped into the darkness outside the window.
The room became quiet as if nothing had happened.
The yellowed wallpaper, shattered window, and wall fragments proved there had been a disturbance.
Iris approached me as I still couldn't stand.
I remembered her getting angry at me for not being able to forget Giselle when we walked in the garden.
I couldn't look at Iris's face.
Unable to raise my head, my gaze crossed with Iris's.
She knelt down like me and opened her mouth.
"A-Ain... Are you okay...?"
But what reached my ears was a familiar voice.
I'd expected reproach.
Iris wore a worried expression.
"...Yeah."
"C-can you stand...? Should I help...?"
"It's fine."
I got up and headed to the bed.
Despite my refusal, Iris linked arms with me and supported my unsteady steps.
I sat on the bed with her and remained silent for a moment.
Iris was the first to break the silence.
"W-will you tell Unnie... what happened...?"
Well, what should I say.
How do I explain that half my life was sacrificed to worthless games.
...Half is nothing—it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say all of it.
I habitually fumbled in my pocket.
No cigar.
Come to think of it, it didn't seem like lighting one would change anything.
I wanted to tear apart the silence that returned like I'd torn myself apart.
But the tongue in my gaping mouth could no longer serve any purpose.
I only realized my hands were still trembling when they touched Iris.
Her hands covered mine.
"...Will you come with Unnie for a bit?"
I just nodded habitually and walked, led by Iris.
I passed through the dark corridor relying only on her guidance.
Two sets of footsteps continued at short intervals.
I think we went down stairs.
After experiencing several descents without liberation, we passed through another corridor.
We arrived at an unfamiliar room filled with storage cabinets.
It was about the same size as Iris's room where I was staying.
Various books were piled on what appeared to be an office desk.
I could see neatly folded blankets and pillows under a sofa against the wall.
A round table and chairs were placed in the center of the room.
Iris brought another chair to the table and sat me down.
When she turned on the light, the room's outline became somewhat clearer.
Iris sat across from me after taking something from a storage cabinet.
Two glasses and alcohol—I didn't know what kind.
Even directly under the light, reading the label was impossible.
Iris filled the glasses in front of each of us.
I just stared at the rippling amber liquid.
Only after a long while did I pick up the glass and speak.
"...Have you drunk before?"
"I drink sometimes. Though I don't like it as much as you do."
"I didn't know. You should have said."
"Were you curious?"
Not really.
I downed the alcohol instead of answering.
The alcohol flowing down my dry esophagus felt unfamiliar.
I didn't know how long it had been since I last drank.
I couldn't taste or smell anything.
Iris immediately refilled my emptied glass.
"Whether it's student council or family business, there's quite a bit to handle.
When work gets tough, a drink or two makes me feel a little better."
Iris said, pointing to the office desk.
Looking now, not just books but pens and miscellaneous stacks of documents were piled there.
I could see paper of the same material as the letters Iris had sent me by the dozen.
I looked around the room again with clearer vision than before.
"...Have you been staying here the whole time?"
"I'm grateful you finally appreciate Unnie's hard work."
I noticed Iris's clothes and shoes scattered beside the bedding.
The teacup and kettle on the desk, even the lantern she used during our evening walks.
The room was full of traces left by her life.
Iris also emptied her glass in one go.
She wiped the alcohol from her lips with her finger and spoke.
"I had servants watch closely every evening.
Yet they couldn't even stop one conspicuous woman from coming and going.
I should fire them all."
I swirled my glass, watching the sloshing surface.
Iris's agitation didn't really reach me.
"It's the same situation as before, right?
Giselle came. Even though you didn't want her to."
"Yeah."
"Why always, always... What on earth was she thinking..."
"She told me. The reason she threw away the ring."
Leaving Iris frozen, I sipped my drink and spoke.
"She wanted to try it because it was in the novel. That's all."
Iris twisted her lips in a derisive smile.
"Of course. What other reason would that stupid bitch have."
Exactly.
But I was destroyed by that stupid bitch.
Did I expect there to be some grand reason behind Giselle's bizarre behavior?
Still, I couldn't have imagined it would be that fucking idiotic.
It's just—the same impression I had when she first visited my house in my previous life.
For a childish reason, she committed a childish act.
Even treated that way, 'Ain' would need Giselle.
She believed without doubt he would return.
Now I think I can understand.
Why the original ending was so fucking terrible.
I felt like I somehow knew the content of the epilogue I hadn't seen.
The original Giselle must have been happy until just before dying from illness.
Because she could experience a lifetime of love's trials, waiting for Ain's return that might never come.
I—I who didn't die in war—
might have been worth less to Giselle than Ain who became bones on the battlefield.
My worries were meaningless.
For over ten years, all my agonizing over how to preserve my life was worse than useless thinking.
I should have just died.
No need to learn swordsmanship, no need to employ means like Body Enhancement Technique.
I should have cleanly entered the trajectory of the bombardment and died.
I lifted the bottle and poured it down my throat.
The characters swirling chaotically in my head burst like fireworks.
When I'd emptied about half, Iris snatched the bottle away.
Standing beside my chair, she stroked my head.
She drank the remaining alcohol straight from the bottle like I had.
"...You can get angry like before. Even I think I'm being pathetic."
Iris answered, dropping the empty bottle to the floor.
"You're right. Ain is still pathetically thinking of Giselle."
"What can I do. I was born and raised this way."
"Am I not enough as Unnie?"
"Of course not. You're more than I deserve, overflowing."
Iris's blue hair tickled my face.
I raised my head toward her looking down at me.
Her yellow eyes, downcast as if sad, stared at me motionlessly.
"I'm not enough. Unnie is less than Giselle."
"Anything I say in this situation won't be convincing."
"Do you still love Giselle?"
"Think what you want."
Iris's head rested on my shoulder, tired of making excuses.
Breath carrying the heat of alcohol touched my cheek.
I still couldn't distinguish what kind of alcohol it was by smell.
"It's okay. Unnie won't give up."
Iris pushed the chair aside a bit and made space for herself to sit.
Her face, now straddling me, was flushed with intoxication.
"You know. Unnie only needs Ain now.
Father, Mother, Roxy... I don't care about any of them.
Lust, love, affection, responsibility... I don't care what Ain calls it."
Her hands pushed against my chest.
My body leaned deep into the chair's backrest.
I wrapped my hands around her waist, pulling her closer.
"I'll make you forget. Unnie will make you forget everything.
Give Unnie all of you."
"Take it."
Because it means nothing to me.
I didn't expect the oblivion she promised.
It would be enough if my mood improved even a little.
Relationship, caress, kiss—I'd just do whatever Iris wanted.
Today, tomorrow, for the next few hours, I could escape the nightmare.
Let's be satisfied with that.
Let's not wish for anything more.
It's a life I've already thrown away several times.
This much is a happy ending.
I slipped my hand under the fabric and stroked down Iris's thigh.
Her slightly parted lips brushed my face as if regretful.
She was blushing, embarrassed.
"We'll need more alcohol."
"Yeah..."
Iris slowly pulled away and locked the door at the room's entrance.
I watched as she went back to the storage cabinet, taking out several bottles and examining them under the light.
It was a well-maintained cabinet like the other furniture in Iris's room.
In my hazy vision, I spotted a bottle with a familiar label.
I slowly approached, turning my suspicion into certainty.
Through my half-closed eyes, I found another piece of the nightmare.
I reached into the cabinet where she stood.
"Ah... Right."
That's right.
It was here.
Someone who could exert influence at the Academy.
Someone who knew better than anyone where I was going, where I was.
The source of the malice I felt toward Mace.
The savior who showed me greater interest than anyone.
The culprit who hurt me more than even Giselle in my previous life.
I slowly pulled out from behind her shoulder a bottle that would probably smell of tropical fruit if opened.
Even the sound of the contents sloshing was exactly as I'd recalled from the nightmare.
"Ha, fuck. It was you, Unnie."