"Ain, our newlywed home is so cozy and pretty!"
"Let's hurry inside. Give me your luggage."
—Creak
The familiar sound of the door opening seemed more cheerful than usual.
Fortunately, Giselle wasn't home.
Only the lingering scent of her perfume—tuberose, if yesterday's was any indication—hung heavily in the air.
She changed and sprayed different perfumes every single day.
That's why I knew the smell of cheap perfume so well, even though I never wore any myself.
Giselle would spray anything, high-end or low-end, then ask endlessly, "How's this one, Ain? What about that one, Ain?" Never getting tired of it.
When the nun who resembled my puppy started sniffing around trying to smell the room, I pinched her nose with my cigarette-reeking hand to paralyze her sense of smell.
Come to think of it, she's not a nun anymore.
Just Mace now, like me. Words have a way of becoming reality.
I felt a sense of kinship with Mace, and now she's ended up in the same situation as me.
'In the end, it's all my fault anyway.'
Meanwhile, Mace—the actual victim—didn't care at all and was just happy to have a place, sitting here, standing there, and—shit, I stored alcohol in there and it's probably all broken.
Why is she going into the bathroom? And why is she crawling under the bed?
After spending a good while roaming freely around the entire house, Mace approached me with a peculiar expression—her mouth smiling but her eyes drooping.
"There's a woman's scent in this house!"
So she did smell it after all.
Well, of course—a guy who refused to wear perfume no matter how much she nagged now has a house reeking of it.
Last time I checked, that Giselle bitch had even taken a bath here while I was out.
The only thing in my house was a bar of soap that used to be white when I first bought it.
When I came home, the bathroom walls and sink were covered in fragrant foam.
Fortunately, I'd already thrown away the gray hairs scattered all over the bathroom floor.
"There must be something haunting the place. Do an exorcism later.
I'll consider that payment for meals."
With her characteristically quick hands, Mace snatched the luggage I was holding.
Still grinning with her mouth, she placed the bag on the table with eyes that had lost their light and grown somewhat murky.
"If there's someone else here, it would be rude for me to stay! If there is, please tell me now!"
"...You seem angry. You're not, right?"
Mace's tone was as sharp as a pufferfish in season.
So this person could get angry after all.
Her forced cheerfulness was blatantly obvious.
"Hey, why would I be angry! I'm just asking out of curiosity!"
As she said this, she drummed her fingers loudly on the table.
...She wanted an answer quickly.
I like that she's so transparent, Mace.
"You remember what I told you during confession, right?"
I broke another one of our unspoken rules.
Mace's expression gradually began to soften.
She returned to the gentle smile I knew well.
Whenever I spoke in a serious tone, Mace never failed to listen carefully to every word.
"It's part of the suffering I went through. Now, it's literally like a ghost."
A ghost that barges in without explanation and then disappears.
That's all Giselle is to me now.
I pulled out a cigarette and put it in my mouth, then put it back.
Because Mace's hand had reached out to my knee before I knew it.
"Now that Teacher Nun is here, don't worry about ghosts."
"...Even though you're neither a nun nor a teacher anymore."
After those words, we looked at each other's faces and laughed for a long while.
There was comfort in the bond between two people who'd been abandoned together.
I couldn't even remember the last time I'd laughed so freely.
.
.
.
It would have been nice if we could have lived happily like that.
Two days after bringing Mace into my home, I realized the problem.
'I desperately need cash right now.'
The Empire's current prices have lost their grandparents.
Inflation played a part in my decision to squander everything and commit suicide again.
With this body, even if I tried to do odd jobs, no workplace would hire me.
"You don't have regular clothes either...?"
"I washed this every evening and dried it by morning to wear!"
"What if it didn't dry by morning...?"
"I asked someone who could use magic to blow wind on it!"
Mace proudly waved her nun's habit while dressed in sleepwear that left nowhere decent to look.
Actually, maybe the musty smell I'd noticed came from those inadequate spare clothes.
At the women's clothing store I went to alone, leaving Mace at home, I doubted my two eyes... my one eye.
'This rag costs one gold coin...? Is Kim Chang-ryeol's neighbor running this business...?'
My alcohol consumption decreased but food expenses increased.
My palate isn't much more refined than Mace's.
But the rationed bread Mace offered me, saying it was edible, wasn't fit for human consumption.
The texture is similar to paper, my ass.
When I tried tapping it against the table as a test, the bread was fine but the table cracked.
When I somehow managed to soften and eat it, it reeked like newspaper.
By my immediate calculations, we couldn't last even a week like this.
Mace was in a situation no different from a foreign worker whose work visa had been stolen.
Maybe I thought it would be too easy, like raising a dog just because she resembled one.
The source of our poverty was currently drooling in her sleep on the sofa, oblivious to my worries.
No matter how many times I told Mace to sleep in the bed, she just shook her head and insisted on sleeping on the floor.
"Stop talking and lie down."
"Everyone look! A virgin who used to be a nun is being assaulted!"
As a compromise, I made her sleep on the sofa.
The dusty single blanket she'd been carrying around was so filthy I took it away and burned it with a match.
Instead, I gave her the linen blanket I'd been using, and she made a racket for ages about how cozy it was, like a primitive human encountering fire for the first time.
...I do have an idea for getting both money and clothes.
As Mace suggested, if I have that 'conversation,' both problems would solve themselves.
Regardless of how unappealing it is, I'll have to endure the fucking hassle and guilt.
Now that I have someone to take care of, it's not the time to be picky.
Leaving the sleeping Mace behind, I quietly opened the door and left the house.
I'll earn money and come back, so guard the house well.
Outside or inside, Giselle is no longer visible.
Maybe she really has become a ghost.
Her coming and going like it was her own house stopped all at once.
I'm just glad to have one less nightmare to worry about.
I no longer have to worry about wandering the streets at night or facing that expressionless face when I open my door.
I headed to the Academy without Mace.
To that space that was no longer comfortable for me.
To the place I'd been confident I'd never visit again.
Long past closing time, I climbed over the wall.
Going around the other buildings connected to the main building, I reached the dormitory I'd rarely visited.
Second floor. The second window from the left of the dormitory building. There.
I picked up a small pebble, relaxed my strength, and threw it at the darkened target window.
—Thud
After repeating this a couple times, the window opened and I saw a feather from my bluebird of happiness.
Iris's blue hair appeared and disappeared a few times at the window frame, then the room's light flickered.
The signal that I could come in.
Walking through the deathly quiet dormitory building and stairs while holding my breath, I knocked softly on Iris's door.
Iris poked her head out through the crack in the door.
This didn't seem like a conversation for the hallway, so I pushed the door open wider and entered.
For some reason, Iris's face turned red and she was noticeably flustered.
"Ah, sorry. I'll look away."
I didn't notice because of the former nun's sleepwear at home.
She was wearing a camisole. It doesn't matter anyway since I saw her plenty when we were young.
I left the flustered Iris behind me and admired the wallpaper pattern.
"You, you can turn around now...."
Iris, wearing a buttoned outer garment over her camisole, was fluttering her hands against her face.
The flush hadn't subsided yet. Is it that embarrassing?
"At, at such a late hour.... Wh, what brings you...?"
"Does a younger brother need a reason to visit his older sister?"
"Huh, huh? Re, really...?"
"Unless I came to ask to borrow money."
"Haa...."
Iris let out a long sigh, as quiet as her voice, and looked at me with narrowed eyes.
There was no severity or dignity in it.
Just an expression that said I was being ridiculous as usual.
"You, you must have... something else to say to Unnie...."
While continuing to purse her lips, her eyes gazed at me rather than the floor.
The expression she wore the day after I put a frog I'd found in the pond on top of Iris's head and ran away in our childhood.
When she wouldn't talk to me for a long while.
Of course, I do have ulterior motives.
Once a space opened up to have a conversation with Iris, I couldn't help but recall the 'presumptuous words' Mace had said at the pub.
"...At the prayer room entrance, I was a bit harsh. Sorry."
"Al, also.... There's one more thing...."
"I heard about the disciplinary action. You made sure I wouldn't be expelled."
Even though I won't be coming to the Academy again anyway, I thought about the favor just a little bit.
"Thank you, Unnie."
Having heard my apology and gratitude, Iris seemed pleased.
Or maybe it was simply because she'd regained the honorific.
Iris took out her wallet from her uniform pocket and asked.
"Ho, how much do you need...?"
"A lot. And lend me some of your clothes too. Ah, underwear would be good if you have any."
"Clo, clo, clo, clothes?! Wh, why clothes...."
Iris's face turned red again.
Her stuttering symptoms were squared from usual.
"I'm raising... can I say it like that? I'm taking care of Mace."
"Ah, ah.... I, I see...."
Iris is just a bit shorter than me, so the size might not fit, but.
My immediate priority is making my house decent enough for my eyes.
After hearing my answer, Iris closed her wallet and pointed to the bed.
I sat on the bed and habitually pulled out a cigarette to put in my mouth, but was stopped by Iris's hand.
"If, if it smells, they'll find out...."
"Sorry. When I'm comfortable, I do it without thinking."
Iris sat down next to me and opened her mouth.
Her excited expression had become similar to when I first entered the room.
"That, that person.... Still has nowhere to stay...?"
"Yeah. She's fucked, Unnie. She can't even go back to her hometown."
Iris pressed her index finger to her temple and pondered for a while before speaking.
"The, the dormitory rooms are empty anyway.... I'll give her one.... And, and instead of my clothes.... I'll buy her a few outfits...."
The familiarity is enough to make me forget the humiliation I suffered in my past life.
I almost hugged Iris without realizing it.
"But, but in exchange...."
If only there weren't the thought of 'compensation' that arose the moment I heard those words, and Iris's expression that seemed to be gauging my reaction.
I could have felt the family love blooming like a moment of separated family reunion.
"...Do I have to?"
"Un, Unnie would.... like it if Ain ca, came back to the family..."
She's talking about that previous proposal. I have to acknowledge her persistence.
It's not unexpected, but I fucking don't want to do it.
"...Fine."
"Re, re, re, really?! A, A, Ain.... Un, Unnie, Unnie...."
"I'll have the conversation. Don't get your hopes up too much."
"O, okay... Th, then when the date is set... let's prepare together.... Unnie will come find you..."
"Fuck.... Do I really have to do that damn preparation too?"
All those fucking formalities, uncomfortable and tight-fitting clothes and various ceremonies.
Luxury goods and gifts, greasy food and conversations that stick in my ears like thorns.
Just thinking about it makes me want to die.
Is this the burden of being a head of household? I can't even die as I please now.
"You, you have to make a good impression on Father.... so he'll accept you...."
Iris seems to handle it well enough, perhaps suited to it.
But from the moment I first set foot in this world, I've despised the family's ridiculous authority.
Iris knew my personality too, and would subtly excuse me from gatherings I didn't need to attend.
"...Fine."
I feel like I'm going out to sell my body.
Taking care of our Mace is really difficult.