The Mage Tower.
The dream workplace every aspiring mage yearns for—the absolute frontier of magical scholarship.
I'd only ever heard how extraordinary it was, so naturally I assumed it must be extraordinary. But—
"This?"
The ancient text I'd been reading was the kind of book Mage Tower mages actually read?
"To be precise, it's a very foundational level. It's an introductory text."
Elline continued, her voice calm and unhurried, as though this were nothing remarkable.
"The academy takes this book as its basis and breaks down only the essential points so we can understand them more easily."
"Ah."
So this book was the real thing—an ancient text that dissected and analyzed the very foundations of magic.
No wonder it started from the first page explaining the origins of mana itself…
"But why did you have me read something like this…?"
The question nagged at me.
Strengthening theoretical foundations was all well and good, but wasn't this far more difficult than necessary? With time being short, wouldn't it actually be less efficient? And yet—someone like Elline, who had studied endlessly, surely knew better methods than I did.
As though she'd anticipated my concern, Elline gently took my hand and asked.
"How was it?"
How was it…
"Hard."
"But you could read it, couldn't you?"
I'd only ever heard that the Mage Tower was extraordinarily brilliant, an incredible place.
Stories about mages researching magic that warped space and manipulated time—I'd heard it all, so naturally I assumed it was somewhere only those kinds of people ever went.
So of course I expected it to use some impossibly difficult language.
My head ached, yes. But I had been able to read through it.
"I could manage reading it…"
Of course, being able to read something and fully understanding its contents were entirely different matters. I certainly hadn't grasped everything—only a rough sense of things had actually settled into my head.
"Right. That's enough."
"…"
"The Mage Tower is, in the end, a place where people work. Alpha Class is the same. It might look lofty at a glance, but it's probably closer than you'd think."
*So don't be anxious.*
That seemed to be what Elline wanted to say.
Of course, calling the Mage Tower "close" was probably a bit of lip service on her part—
But in the end, she'd had me read this book to ease my anxiety.
And incidentally, to check my theoretical foundations as well.
Now that I understood the reality of it, what washed over me wasn't deflation but relief.
"I genuinely thought I was an idiot."
"Did you?"
Thank goodness. I wasn't an idiot after all.
Actually—didn't reading an ancient Mage Tower text mean I had some talent?
*…No, that's not it.*
This was supposedly the most foundational of foundational texts, so it was probably the easiest kind.
It wasn't as though I was getting ahead of myself, but still—my heart did feel considerably lighter.
"Do you feel better?"
Whether she'd read my expression or not, Elline looked over at me.
"…Honestly, yes."
"Good."
Whether she was happy or not, she let out a quiet breath—a small, restrained exhale.
Seeing her like that, having taken such care for my sake, something stirred inside me.
Carrying that gratitude, I carefully tightened my grip on the hand I was already holding.
"…"
Elline slowly closed her eyes.
It had been the same during our walks before—when she closed her eyes like that, it felt as though she was concentrating all her senses.
On our walks, she always closed her eyes and let the wind wash over her.
It's true that when you can't see, your sense of touch becomes more acute.
*Right now…*
Was she feeling my warmth?
The knowledge that my existence mattered to someone.
It was a good feeling.
"Rutess."
"Yeah?"
"Could you loosen your grip a little?"
"…Oh, sorry—was I too tight?"
Elline shook her head.
When I relaxed my hand, her fingers began to move.
I swallowed quietly.
As though simply overlapping hands wasn't enough—as though she wanted to feel something deeper—
Her fingers carefully threaded through the gaps between mine,
and before I knew it, our hands were interlaced.
More deeply intertwined than a simple hold, close enough that the pulse at her wrist beat against my skin.
She could probably feel my heartbeat too.
It was racing.
Elline gave a small, satisfied nod.
"I like this."
"…Me too."
The words barely made it out.
Hearing my answer, Elline smiled—faint, but there.
That expression, emotion seeping through a face that was always so composed and cool—it was truly beautiful.
"Then let's stay like this today."
"Until when?"
She tilted her head slightly and whispered.
"Until the library closes."
…..
I said nothing more.
No—I couldn't.
It had always been this way, but if things kept going like this, I had the feeling I'd be completely, helplessly swept up in Elline.
I turned my head and opened the book again.
"Rutess, you don't have to read that anymore."
"Oh."
I nodded.
"Today, I just want to be like this."
Elline said it quietly, as though all she wanted was to feel my warmth—
and I only held her interlaced hand a little tighter.
It was warm.
So warm that—
*Thud.*
Suddenly, one side of my chest began to ache.
Not the ache of excitement.
*Ah.*
I began to feel disgusted with myself.
The shift in emotion was so abrupt that even I was taken aback—
*…Do I*
deserve to receive this kind of warmth from Elline?
I was glad that my presence could be a source of strength for her, and yet—
in the end, the beginning was.
A confession made as a forfeit.
That fact didn't change.
Whatever the reason, I had deceived Elline.
At first I'd been too flustered to think clearly, but the more her sincere, genuine affection accumulated, the more it carved into my chest.
I traced back the source of my discomfort.
Undeserved love… before that even—the premise of this love was wrong.
*Now.*
The thought arrived unbidden.
Before this relationship could go any further wrong.
Wouldn't it be better to say it as soon as possible?
The warmth traveling through her hand was so warm.
The way Elline cared for me was so plainly visible.
It pressed down on me all the more.
If I had said *'Actually, I confessed to you as a forfeit,'* would she have accepted my confession that day?
…No.
This wasn't a question I should be wrestling with—it was one Elline should be wrestling with.
My feelings didn't matter.
It was a problem that Elline, having heard the truth, needed to judge for herself.
Right.
Say it now.
I took a breath.
"Hey, Elline."
Elline, who had been holding my hand tightly with her eyes closed, slowly opened them.
"Yes."
"There's something I need to tell you."
Those blue eyes turned toward me at an unhurried pace, and I felt myself shrink all the more.
Deep, beautiful eyes—I didn't want to hurt those eyes, and yet—
in the end, I knew that all of this was my fault.
I thought *say it* and opened my mouth.
Actually,
I confessed to you as a forfeit with my friends.
So receiving your kindness like this makes me feel like I'm deceiving you.
So…
So…
So…
I want you to think about it one more time—
"Rutess."
She tightened her grip on our interlaced hands, and my mind went blank all over again.
"…What?"
"Don't say it right now."
Elline's eyes held perfectly still, watching me.
"…"
My heart began to beat slowly.
*Right now*, she said—don't say it right now.
Had she noticed?
Or was there another reason?
"Later."
With her other hand, she gently, warmly placed her palm against my cheek.
"When you're not unsettled by me—when you're not wavering—that's when I want to hear it."
Her firm voice felt like it was pulling me back up.
…
"Elline."
"Yes."
"…You said you liked me, didn't you?"
"Yes."
At her words, I opened my mouth, then closed it.
I wanted to say something too, but the words wouldn't come.
The library lights began going out one by one, and from somewhere in the distance came the librarian's voice announcing closing time.
In the end, I forced the words out through a tight throat.
"Thank you."
I worried my voice had shrunk to nothing.
Worried it might sound like I was on the verge of tears—
but Elline didn't seem to mind. She held my hand firmly and looked at me.
"If you know that, then work hard."
Was it a joke, or did she mean it?
Knowing Elline's nature, she wasn't the type to joke.
We didn't talk much after that.
We simply sat holding hands until all the library lights went out, then gathered our books and stepped outside.
"See you tomorrow."
With those words, Elline turned and left.
Walking back to the dormitory,
the night air of what was nearly April was no longer as cold as before, but still carried a chill.
The beginning was a forfeit.
"…"
If it hadn't been a forfeit, Elline would have remained forever out of reach—someone who existed above the clouds, never to be part of my world.
I'd been so consumed by the fact that she'd accepted me that I never looked back—but the truth was, this relationship had been wrong from the very start.
So.
I wanted more than ever to reach Alpha Class.
To get there, and say what I truly felt, again.
*Elline, I'm sorry—actually…*
Say all of it, and then—whether she despised me or left me—accept whatever punishment came.
"Garbage."
I hadn't thought it through.
When I looked up, the stars were spilling across the sky, glittering as though they might fall—but tonight, somehow, they couldn't ease the weight in my chest.
Even so.
Even knowing how pathetic I was.
Even after telling her every last truth.
If only you would allow it, Elline—
…
*I want to keep standing by your side.*
That thought had begun to take root.