Mace stood before Iris and me, still holding bread in her mouth.
I looked down at the ground again to avoid eye contact.
The black-and-white nun's habit extending to her ankles entered the edge of my vision.
"Ghat dremptssden bnerd!"
"Pardon?"
Feeling breadcrumbs falling onto my head, I reflexively looked up.
What a disaster. I'd responded to words delivered in such an absurd pronunciation.
I quickly averted my gaze before meeting those bright eyes.
Let's just look at the shadows cast on the terrace again, please.
But Mace kept tilting her head while chewing bread, trying to make eye contact with me.
Only after chewing and swallowing what was in her mouth for a while did Mace speak again.
"You're the one who ran away that time, right?"
"……."
So she remembered.
I shouldn't feel relieved, shouldn't feel happy.
Even though there should be no reason to get more involved with her.
The fact that Mace, whom I'd only met once since my regression, remembered me brought far more comfort than Iris's consolation.
"Um, do you have something to discuss with my brother?"
Iris spoke without removing her hand from my thigh.
If anything, the weight pressing against me seemed heavier than before.
Only her tone was gentle—the pitch was similar to when she'd warned those men in the restaurant earlier.
"Huh? Brother... Oh! Then we must have met at the Academy."
"...The Academy? Judging by your attire, are you the Divinity Studies teacher I've only heard rumors about?"
"That's right! But we must be acquainted too...."
"So, do you have something to say to my brother Ain?"
I turned my gaze to look at Iris.
She wore a smile that seemed forcibly plastered on.
"Yes! May I borrow your brother for a moment?"
"...Couldn't you just say it here?"
"I'd like to talk with just the two of us. It'll only take a moment!"
"What did you...?"
To Mace's cheerful words, Iris's sharp response returned.
Iris's hand clenched into a fist.
I covered that fist—holding back anger—with my hand.
"She's a stranger. Let's go."
"Huh? O-okay...."
I interlaced my fingers with Iris's now-relaxed hand as I had this morning and stood from the chair.
Still unable to look at Mace's face, I kept my eyes on the ground.
I tried to leave while only looking at the bread bag Mace held against her chest.
"If you don't talk to me now, I'll bother you every single day!"
Mace's voice rang out loudly from behind, making me stop.
Come to think of it, even if she seemed gentle, she wasn't quite right in the head. That nun.
"Why have you been avoiding me since last time! It's completely absurd!
If you leave like this, I'll follow you around all day reciting prayers to torment you whenever we meet at the Academy or anywhere else!"
"She must be crazy. Let's go quickly, Unnie."
I tried to pull Iris's hand, but she stopped walking and wouldn't move.
Iris spoke in an interrogating tone.
"Are you really sure you don't know her?"
"I don't know her. First time seeing her. Maybe it's some kind of religious solicitation."
"Then I suppose a warning would be fine. Wait here."
I grabbed Iris's arm as she turned toward Mace.
The shyness had already vanished from her face.
My gaze landed more on Mace standing behind Iris with puffed cheeks than on Iris's hardened expression.
...Our eyes met.
If I left like this, forcing myself to avoid an entanglement might make it impossible to separate later.
If Mace really did follow me everywhere, chattering behind me, could I ignore her every time?
"I thought she was a stranger, but I remembered."
"Ain, you had no friends besides Giselle."
That's correct. Except for my previous life, that is.
"I attended a few of her classes. That's all."
"Just that much and she's shouting and acting familiar like that...?"
"The class was boring, so I stormed out of the classroom.
Maybe she wanted to scold me. I'll be right back."
As if unconvinced by my explanation, Iris's hardened eyes stared right through me.
She was weak to me approaching her.
I lowered my hand and interlaced our fingers again, then whispered in Iris's ear.
"It'll be quick. I promise."
"O-okay...."
"Wait in the carriage. I won't be late."
I gently stroked her reddened ear as I passed Iris.
As I came forward, having changed my mind, I stood before Mace, who was slowly deflating her cheeks with a smile.
I could feel my pupils bouncing everywhere, trying not to capture her form.
"...I'll keep it short. Sit down."
I pointed to the chair where Iris had been sitting on the terrace.
I sat in the chair beside it and stirred the now-cold coffee cup with the teaspoon that had come with the chamomile.
Mace, seated next to me, spoke.
Her voice was now quiet, no longer needing to shout.
The voice I knew well, the one she used when being affectionate.
"I'm sorry for being pushy. I felt like I couldn't let you go."
"Fine, you know now."
"You and your sister... seem very close."
I could feel Mace's gaze watching for my reaction as she spoke.
Anyone could see we'd been holding hands like lovers.
...In my previous life too.
Did Mace and I look that way to others as well?
"Like I said before, we've met, haven't we?"
Mace spoke while resting her elbow on the table and staring intently at me.
"I attended Divinity Studies classes, so we must have met then."
"Liar. I remember everyone who's entered my classroom."
Was that too half-hearted an excuse?
Well, it's a class with at most two students, so she'd know their faces.
I pointed to the magnolia embroidered on my clothes and answered as curtly as possible.
"Sister, you see this, right?
Whether you're a teacher or whatever, this is a sign that we'll never need to associate in our lifetimes."
"It's a pretty flower. I think it suits you very well."
She wasn't even an imperial citizen.
She wouldn't recognize something like a family crest.
This is maddening. I can't even curse at that face.
The unfamiliar address of "you" hurt.
The sound of her voice calling "Ain-ssi, Ain-ssi" still seemed to echo in my ears.
Because I was wary of the distance with Mace, I barely managed to avoid her hand reaching out without hesitation.
Still quick with her hands.
Mace was looking regretfully at the scar her hand hadn't managed to stroke.
"Hmm.... The face is my type though....
Masculine.... Did I fall for you?"
"As a clergy member, please lose interest in romance."
"More than that.... A feeling I can't leave alone?"
"I was dressed like a beggar then, so you must have felt pity."
This time I couldn't avoid it.
She lifted my bangs like before and said quietly.
"Come to think of it, you're well-dressed today. You look wonderful."
It felt like my breath stopped.
"Are you and that person really just siblings?"
The image of me drawn in those clear blue eyes was darker than in the cup.
My trembling gaze couldn't leave Mace's smile.
Under the terrace shade, my hand was slowly soaking in the sunlight.
"...We're dating."
"Ah.... I thought so...."
Mace withdrew her hand with a sigh and sat back in the chair.
She pursed her lips and drummed her palms on the table.
Like when she'd waited for my answer at my house.
"She did seem too close to be just your sister...."
"Yes. My lover is waiting, so I'll be going."
I tried to end the conversation as I stood from the chair.
This should be enough.
Mace still didn't seem to know exactly what emotion she was harboring.
Just in case, I should avoid main streets and crowded places even more from now on.
I just need to reduce encounters with Mace even more than before.
Let's not go out carelessly like today.
"Don't come, please. That's what you said."
Mace spoke in a voice that was far from loud as she sat in the chair.
Even amid the noise of the passing crowd, her voice was clearly distinguishable.
"Why did you say that?
We should be strangers who don't even remember where we met."
I couldn't answer.
As I listened to Mace's words, my breathing gradually grew rougher.
"Why was I so sad at those words?
Why can't I forget those words from you, whom I met for the first time?"
I need to remember Mace lying in that bed.
I need to recall the gasping breaths that burrowed deep into my ears and her closed eyes.
"If you know the meaning of the tears I shed, please answer me. I'm begging you."
Even if I could speak, what should I say?
Unlike Iris, if this person I mustn't break gets involved with me again, what kind of misfortune will she suffer next time?
"I heard your name is Ain-ssi.... Right?"
The pain I'd been feeling continuously now began to ache as if a knife were slicing my heart.
The time I'd spent with Mace rose like a panorama.
"As you know, if you come to the Academy anytime...."
"No. I'll ask you instead."
Gritting my teeth, I looked at Mace's face.
I didn't turn my gaze from the disappointment my rejection created on her face.
"I hate you, Mace."
"...You knew my name."
"What does that matter? I'm saying I hate you.
Never appear before my eyes again. Don't look at me with those eyes either."
⟨Please don't cry like that and smile.⟩
I forcibly swallowed the words rising from my throat without knowing their place.
I absolutely couldn't spit out curses like I had at Giselle.
What more should I have said while watching that face trying to force a smile again without any resentment?
You're nothing but an innocent scapegoat.
If only that bastard Ain hadn't existed, there would never have been any reason for such an expression on your face.
How could I say more to you, who embraced me?
The prayer room, the Academy, under the bridge, the tavern, my now-empty house, the riverside path home.
Everywhere is full of indelible traces.
No rain fell, no alcohol entered, yet I staggered away from Mace.
Walking through the blazing sun and crowds, I leaned my hand against a shaded roadside tree and retched.
After staring at the bread crumbs floating in the gastric fluid for a while, I headed to the carriage where Iris would be waiting.
"A-Ain.... Did the conversation go well...?"
When I opened the carriage door, I saw what I could safely break.
Beyond that face mumbling as if wanting to ask something, I rested my chin on her shoulder.
"A-Ain...?"
"Let's go home, to the manor."
"D-did something happen...? That nun...."
"Unnie."
"Y-yes...."
"Could I live the rest of my life never leaving the manor?
Can you help me live that way?"
I murmured while wrapping my arm around Iris's waist.
I pulled her slender curves into my embrace as if unwilling to let them go.
"...Of course. Just trust your Unnie."