Two days passed without incident.
Rutess and Elline had stayed up through the small hours of the night and barely managed to finish their review in time, and thankfully, no further mistakes were found.
"That concludes our presentation."
The presentation had proceeded calmly, and with Elline's closing words, applause filled the room—a successful end.
They had pulled two all-nighters in a row, yet somehow Elline showed no sign of exhaustion.
"Everyone worked hard this semester. All of your presentations left a deep impression on me, and I find myself looking forward to what the next year will bring. Well then—this concludes all lectures."
With the professor's gentle declaration of the semester's end, first year was over.
"Good work, everyone."
At Elline's words, the other group members nodded, and the time had come to wrap up what had been a brief connection.
They exchanged light farewells and parted ways, one by one.
As the once-full classroom emptied out, the space that had always felt cramped began to feel strangely wide.
And then—
There was one last connection she had yet to put to rest.
"Rutess."
"Hm?"
"Good work."
Rutess looked up from packing his things.
"You worked harder than I did."
…
A brief silence settled between them.
She moved her lips.
She wanted to say more—
but no topic came to mind that would give her reason to keep him there.
…
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
"Second year… you'll be in Beta Class, right?"
"Yeah, probably."
She had expected as much.
She had almost never seen him actually studying during lectures.
He was always spacing out, or occasionally focusing for a moment.
If anything, it would have been strange for someone like that to move up to Alpha Class.
In second year, when the division became official, they would attend lectures in different buildings entirely—there would be no more reason for their paths to cross.
"…I see."
Elline had nothing left to say.
"I'll head out, then."
It was the most natural thing to say when there was nothing left to say.
The assignment was done. There was no reason to see each other anymore.
So they had to part.
And yet.
*Why…*
Her chest ached.
Without ever recognizing what that feeling meant, she simply nodded.
"Take care."
She could only watch, helplessly, as Rutess gave a small wave and disappeared through the door.
After he was completely gone, Elline remained alone in the classroom, where only silence lingered.
It was a familiar situation—one she had always known, always experienced.
And yet, for some reason, she felt hollow.
If it had never been there from the start, she might not have noticed. But the cold that follows after warmth has already left once—that cold always feels sharper than the rest.
It was a day that left her feeling unusually, persistently lonely.
*…*
One day passed.
Then two.
She still sat with her books open, still tried to study—but her thoughts refused to settle.
She kept making the same small mistakes on formulas she knew by heart.
Every time she tried to concentrate, her mind would quietly drift away again.
Irritation crept in.
*Why?*
No matter how many times she tried to pull her thoughts back into line, something invisible kept crumbling the path like a stone underfoot.
She buried her face in her book. She opened the window for fresh air.
Neither helped.
…
In the end, she pushed back her chair and stood.
She walked outside without any particular destination in mind.
*Crunch.*
*Crunch. Crunch.*
She walked.
Even in the bitter cold of winter, she walked.
Her hands turned red and went numb. Her nose stung. The feeling left her toes entirely. Still, Elline kept walking.
How many minutes had passed?
She stopped in the soft, freshly fallen snow and looked up at the sky.
Her breath rose in a pale cloud and dissolved into the air above.
…
No matter how far she walked through the cold.
No matter how tightly she pressed her hand against the ache in her chest.
She could not sort through what she was feeling.
There was only one reason she couldn't—and Elline knew exactly what it was.
*…Ha.*
Only three times.
Brief, passing encounters. Barely any real conversation. Strange meetings, by any measure.
Why was she dwelling on something like that?
She couldn't understand it herself.
Snowflakes landed on her cheek and melted without ceremony, sliding down her skin—while inside her head, everything only grew more tangled.
No.
*I'm the one making it complicated.*
She slowly opened her eyes.
She wiped away the melted snow trailing down her cheek.
Admit it.
She was sad.
Sad that there would be no more moments where their paths crossed. Sad that the chance to feel that warmth again was gone.
"…"
How foolish.
During the entrance exam.
During the evacuation shelter.
During that last group project.
She should have been the one to speak first.
Or at the very least, she should have kept the conversation going when he offered it.
…Why—
"Why did I only realize it now?"
For the first time, she felt something like resentment—toward herself.
Snow gathered on her shoulders. The feeling faded from her cheeks.
And then Elline began to walk again.
And she understood.
Because she hadn't been sure of herself.
Because she was afraid to walk a path when she didn't know the answer.
She had no experience—no idea how to start a conversation, how to keep one going—
and so she had never found the courage to hold onto a connection.
She stopped.
"…"
She pressed her hand firmly against her chest.
It was already too late.
It probably wouldn't change anything.
*But maybe—*
She bit her lip.
Maybe—she had liked Rutess.
Three brief, passing encounters. But encounters that had found her at her lowest, and stayed beside her anyway.
Everything he had offered her had steadied her.
He had always been there to catch her when things were hard.
But that was all in the past now.
Rutess had no particular feelings for her.
If anything, it had been plain that she made him uncomfortable.
*How foolish.*
What would he think, if she told him?
That she had feelings for someone she'd only crossed paths with three times.
That she had developed feelings on her own, with barely any real conversation between them.
It was a ridiculous thing.
And it was a feeling she needed to put away.
She had to let it go, quickly.
In the end, she walked for a long while before going back inside—
and spent the next several days sick in bed, alone with a cold she'd brought on herself.
Second year began.
Just as she had expected, once the classes were formally divided, she became even busier.
The workload grew. The assignments piled up.
The number of times she crossed paths with him dropped noticeably.
Every now and then, she would catch a glimpse of his silhouette at the far end of a corridor—but that was all.
Even so, whenever she spotted that distant figure, her gaze would follow.
"…"
He seemed to be doing well.
The one friend he'd had became two.
Then three.
Before long, he had built his own circle and was living comfortably within it.
Of course he had.
To him, she was nothing more than someone who had passed through.
Elline quieted her feelings and decided to bury that small, restless ache in a corner of her heart.
Perhaps it was to rid herself of that pointless emotion.
She threw herself into her studies even more completely.
Throughout second year, she broke record after record at the academy.
The gazes of those around her grew more and more distant.
Even among students in the same year, the height from which they looked at her had begun to shift.
*…I heard the Mage Tower already reserved a spot for her.*
*Incredible—apparently she had a private meeting with the Headmistress.*
Every time she walked down a corridor, she felt eyes on her—a mixture of admiration and awe.
The look that said she was different from them. A look she had long since grown used to.
No—by now it only irritated her.
*…Quiet.*
Why did people take such interest in other people's lives?
Just ignore me and leave me alone.
She closed her ears and kept walking forward.
Time moved quickly.
Winter. Inside a meeting room warmed by a fireplace against the howling blizzard outside, a middle-aged man in a fine suit slowly turned through a stack of papers, nodding as he read.
Across from him, Elline quietly tucked a strand of her shoulder-length hair behind her ear.
The man finished reading, set the papers down with a satisfied expression, and looked at her.
"Your grades are excellent, and the paper you submitted this time is remarkably polished."
"Thank you."
"Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I believe you will have more than sufficient standing to join the Mage Tower after graduation."
Elline nodded quietly.
Joining the Mage Tower.
The path laid out for her after leaving the academy.
"I look forward to it, Miss Elline."
The man in the suit adjusted his circlet and rose from his seat; Elline stood as well.
Stepping out into the corridor, she felt the familiar chill of winter, as always.
She found herself thinking, suddenly, of something her mother had once said.
To find her own path.
*My own path…*
She hadn't been able to look for one.
She had never had the space for it—not the time, not the heart.
Walking forward with her eyes fixed ahead was all she had ever done.
Yes. Perhaps she had always known.
That from the moment she took on the name Pailless,
there had only ever been one path open to her.
That entering the Mage Tower was the only road there was.
Third year.
With only a little time left at the academy.
When the notice came to register for elective courses, Elline found herself at a loss.
She had originally intended to take one in second year, but the professor for that course had faced an urgent situation and the class had been cancelled—so she was registering now, in third year.
Her credits were nearly complete regardless.
Since she had spent every remaining hour studying, it made little practical difference—but she found herself with no interest in any of the available electives.
In the end, she picked the least popular course she could find—one that wouldn't interfere with her schedule, the kind no one else would bother signing up for.
She didn't even know the name of the course. She simply registered.
*…*
On the day of the first lecture, she walked into the classroom without much thought. As always, the students noticed her and began to murmur.
Of course, not a ripple stirred inside Elline.
She moved to her usual spot—a seat by the window in the back corner—and sat down.
And then, just as the lecture was about to begin, she looked up—
and caught sight of a very familiar silhouette.
Not the slicked-back hair she remembered, but the same relaxed way of carrying himself. The same brown hair.
A profile she would have recognized from a glance alone.
Rutess.
*…*
Had they ended up in the same elective?
Her heart gave the faintest, almost imperceptible flutter—
*…No.*
She decided to keep this feeling buried.
It was far too late to do anything more.
Now that her path to the Mage Tower was set, she couldn't afford to be swept away by pointless sentiment.
By the time the lecture ended, she had managed—thankfully—to avoid making eye contact with him.
*…*
She watched Rutess rise from his seat and walk out without a glance back.
She decided that simply watching his retreating figure from behind was enough.
That was the last line she would allow herself.
The second week began.
The Friday that closed out the day carried a giddy energy through the classroom—but that had nothing to do with Elline.
She sat down already mapping out tomorrow's plans, next week's schedule, running through it all in her head.
*Tomorrow afternoon, the assignment, and then…*
She took notes on the elective professor's words without much thought, her mind busily turning over everything else.
The study preparation for the Mage Tower entrance examination had grown sharply more demanding—she needed to plan her schedule tightly.
"Good work today, everyone. Tomorrow's the weekend, isn't it? Get some rest and I'll see you next week!"
With the professor's words, students began rising from their seats all at once, and Elline closed her book and started gathering her things.
And as she did, she glanced—just briefly—at Rutess in the seat ahead of her, packing up his own bag.
Today, too, she had decided she would only watch his back quietly until he left.
That was the plan.
But then—
he suddenly turned his head.
Their eyes met.
Her body flinched before she could think.
Why was he looking back?
She didn't know.
Maybe he had just happened to glance behind him and their eyes had met by chance?
Yes. That was probably it.
And Rutess—being Rutess—would turn back around.
He always did.
Elline naturally shifted her gaze and began gathering her things.
As if the eye contact had been nothing but coincidence.
She steadied her trembling heart and slowly, carefully organized her belongings.
Fortunately, it seemed Rutess had looked away too—she heard the sound of a chair being pushed in, and then footsteps heading toward the door.
No.
*…?*
The footsteps weren't moving away.
What she had thought was her imagination grew closer instead.
There was no door behind her—she was certain of that.
There was nothing back here. She always sat in the rear. The only things nearby were a dusty old painting and some faded inscription no one could attribute to anyone.
She slowly raised her head—
and Rutess was standing right in front of her.
Looking directly at her.
*…*
She swallowed.
Why?
He had always been the one to look away first. Why was he here, now, standing in front of her?
And yet his gaze was still unsteady.
Like someone being chased—his eyes were resolute, but something inside them was wavering.
"…Why?"
Elline forced herself to speak.
She could feel her own voice trembling, but he didn't seem to notice.
"Did you need something?"
"…Uh, well—"
His tone—awkward, and uncertain.
After a year without a single word between them, Elline felt her emotions begin to stir again.
*Calm down.*
*These feelings are already settled.*
"Elline—"
*Thud.*
Her name in his mouth—
and she lost her grip on the feeling entirely.
It wasn't anything significant. She knew that. But the moment he said her name, something in the corner of her chest began to ache with a quiet, restless warmth.
"Actually—"
She cut him off, quickly.
She couldn't do this.
If she kept talking to him, the feelings she had barely managed to put away would come undone again.
She pressed down hard on the tide rising inside her, and her expression tightened almost imperceptibly.
Then she said, with quiet firmness:
"If it's not important, can I go? I'm busy."
Elline cut the conversation short and walked away as naturally as she could manage.
She turned her head, catching one last look at his face as she went.
*Thud. Thud.*
…Right.
I'll admit it, Rutess.
Seeing you—I can't keep these feelings in order.
Seeing you up close again, my chest just keeps aching.
Why?
…No, I know why.
*Thud. Thud. Thud.*
Because I like you.
Because being near you makes me feel at ease.
Because I love that feeling.
Because I want to stay beside you.
*Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.*
It's ridiculous, but—that's how it is.
So I have to stay away.
The closer I get, the more it's going to hurt.
I thought just watching your back from a distance would be enough.
But I don't think I can manage even that.
*I should drop this course…*
She walked on, barely keeping her heart in check.
"I like you, Elline."
*Snap.*
"Go out with me."
Just two sentences—spoken as she was passing by—landed clearly in her ears.
In her twenty-two years of life, for the very first time,
every thought in Elline's mind came to a complete stop.