Mace

*Thud thud*

"I've never seen anyone come to class just to sleep before!

Most people who carry swords only head to the training grounds, so I was really happy when you came to my class.

But when I looked over, you were trembling in your sleep, like you were having some kind of dream."

"......"

*Thud thud*

"Oh, if it's because of food coma from lunch, I'll understand.

I get so sleepy after eating too....

Even when I open a book, the white parts are just paper and the black parts are just letters, it's so hard...."

"......"

*Thud thud*

"Come to think of it, we'll be able to see the Rose Festival that the Empire is so proud of soon!

I've been looking forward to it ever since I left home.

I don't like summer because it's hot, but still, if I go out to the streets and enjoy the festival...."

"Um...."

*Thud thud*

"It's already evening! Anyway, Ain, have you eaten yet?

If not, where are you planning to...."

"Are we... friends...?"

I stopped walking because of Mace chattering away beside me like she'd lost her mind.

We were crossing in front of the main building, now dim as the sun had set.

At my question, Mace tilted her head slightly.

"Huh? We exchanged names! Doesn't that make us friends?"

"That's not usually how it works. Not usually...."

Mace's cheeks puffed up at my answer.

Maybe it's because of her hair color. She looks a bit like a sparrow.

"Whaat... I sang you a lullaby, let you pat my face, and we've talked this much, so if we're not friends, what are we?"

"I really want to shut your mouth...."

What sparrow—she's clearly a magpie, chattering away nonstop.

A headache was coming on because of someone, so I reached into my pocket for a cigarette.

"...?"

No cigarettes. My matches and wallet were gone too.

Did I drop them in the classroom while sleeping?

Damn, even if it's not much, that's my entire fortune.

I was about to turn back to the classroom when Mace, grinning in front of me, proudly presented my cigarette pack, matches, and wallet, holding them in both hands.

"Are you crazy?"

"Cigarettes are bad for you. They stunt your growth and give you bad breath!"

"Perfect. Just what I need to chase away an annoying nun. Hand them over."

I snatched my belongings from Mace's hands, put them in my pocket, and stuck a cigarette in my mouth.

I lit it with a match and stuck my finger in my wallet just to check.

"I'm short on money...?"

"Ahem. This should be enough for a lullaby, right?"

Mace had a gold coin pinched between her fingers.

"So you're not a nun but a thief...?"

"How rude! I'm a genuine nun who grew up in a monastery since childhood!"

"This is a genuine sword. It'll really hurt if it hits you. Want to test it?"

Fortunately, it seemed to be just a joke.

Mace, still smiling, flicked her finger and tossed the coin into my arms.

"Ugh... That cigarette smell. Ain, don't you wear perfume?

I heard there's tons of perfume made from fragrant roses at the Rose Festival!"

"Sister, don't you have anything else to do?

How about doing something a bit more constructive than bothering me?"

"Nope! I'm free! I'm going all the way to the riverside for my hobby!"

"I'm blind, not deaf, so you don't need to shout for me to hear you..."

"Whaat... Ain, you say that, but you keep walking faster to get away from me.

If I don't talk this loud, you probably won't hear me properly, right?"

Are you a ninja instead of a thief or nun? Considering how skillfully you picked my pocket.

Did you use some Wind Style Jutsu or something? Can a person really talk this much?

The voice that sounded gentle and pleasant in the classroom now triggers migraines like an air raid siren.

How can someone with such a small frame and a kind, healing-type character face chatter on without rest like that?

I feel utterly deceived by false advertising.

And what's this secret hobby that has her following me all the way to the riverside?

Actually, maybe that's an excuse too, and she's just thinking "I want to make noise and you're conveniently here" while tagging along?

I want to cover my ears, but I only have one hand.

This is similar to the nightmare I had earlier. I'm starting to suspect I haven't woken up from it yet.

I was walking as fast as possible to get away from Mace, my mind blank.

One mountain after another. I could see Max and his crew camped out in the distance.

"Ha, fuck..."

When I stopped walking, Mace, who'd been chasing from behind, bumped into my back and her words cut off.

Mace peeked around my body and looked at the scene ahead.

Above the gang, a stream of cigarette smoke had gathered into a cloud.

"Wow, the smoke looks like clouds. Are they your friends? Oh, you said you don't have friends."

"Shut up. Or better yet, go over there."

I stamped out my cigarette and approached Max's group.

Mace, apparently not hearing my warning even with the back of her ears, busily scurried along behind me.

Max waved at me warmly as always.

Since I wanted him to share the feelings between close friends, I'd worked on one of his arms a bit, and now it's wrapped in bandages.

"Hey, thanks a fucking lot. Thanks to you, I get to experience being a cripple."

Max offered his thanks in a sneering tone. No need to thank me.

Twice as many people as before filled in the gaps, forming a circle around me.

Mace behind me couldn't escape in time. Really useless.

"What, after Giselle, now a teacher?"

"Say hello. Sister, that's my son Max over there.

Max, you know this already, but she's a precious guest of our Academy."

"Huh? Ain, you're married? But you look the same age as your son...."

My devastating provocation didn't work at all.

I'd rather have them cling to me.

I thought with this level of aggro, they'd leave Mace alone and only come at me, but Max just laughed annoyingly.

"Ain, you think that joke would work?

Everyone knows that with your crippled hand, you couldn't even satisfy a nun properly.

Even if she's not particularly devout, men who can't perform at night aren't popular."

"Actually, disabled people are better at night.

I fully satisfied your mother without all five limbs."

"You fucking piece of shit!!!"

The first time is always hard. After that, it's easy.

Seems the same goes for mom jokes.

Cruder vocabulary flows out more naturally than before.

However, Max only shouted but still exercised self-control and didn't charge at me.

I thought his hand coming out of his pocket was trembling with anger, but it returned to its place and he let out an even more annoying laugh.

"Keke... Ain, your girlfriend seems pretty scared?"

I looked to the side, wondering what fatherless nonsense that was, and saw Mace with her head down, body trembling.

*Ah... I screwed up....*

It's probably not just because of Max's group's threats.

I spoke too harshly without thinking about the people around me.

Even if she's annoying, I thought I'd finally found someone I could talk to comfortably.

There's no reason to hesitate in the fight, no reason to continue playing the clown.

I approached the defenseless Max, busy cracking up, and kicked him hard in the stomach.

*Thwack*

"Ugh...!"

Maybe because I rested for half a day and the alcohol wore off, it takes a bit more effort.

Max tumbled far away, colliding with the guys standing behind him.

I walked over and pressed down hard on his ugly face with the sole of my shoe.

I gripped my sword hilt so the guys behind me could see.

I have no intention of drawing it, but at least it's threatening.

They're not the type to show loyalty anyway, and though they hesitate, they still don't charge.

"Max, we had a good thing going. Exchanging silly jokes with each other.

But you can't just cling to me at all hours just because we talked a few times.

You know better than anyone how disgusting it is when a guy acts clingy."

When I put a bit more pressure on my foot, grinding sounds came from Max's mouth as his teeth broke.

Disabling one arm wasn't enough for him to learn.

Iris will still cover for him, so if I prepare for suspension and permanently cripple something....

*Tsk, forget it. I'll just fight whenever he comes. I have nothing left to protect anyway.*

I kicked Max's face lightly, and two broken teeth scattered on the ground.

"Let's stop here. Looking forward to working with you."

His friends slung the fallen Max over their shoulders.

For all their familiar cursing, they're so consistent in hurrying away that it puts my mind at ease.

If I'd beaten him more, I'd probably just feel uneasy.

If I'd brawled with that many people, I wouldn't have come out unscathed either.

I waved goodbye to Max and looked back at Mace.

Mace was still rooted to the same spot, body trembling.

Good job. Can't even keep your mouth shut and scared people.

I approached Mace to apologize and send her off appropriately.

".........Pfft."

Her bowed head jerked back and

Mace began laughing loudly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Puhahaha!! Aha... Ahaha!! Pfft... Puhi... Puhahaha!!"

*Did those bastards hit her on the back of the head when they passed?*

Slightly frightened, I carefully reached out to Mace.

Mace slapped my palm with a smack, then continued her unceasing laughter for a while.

I guess she thought I was going for a high five.

"Um... Sister...."

"Puhup... Pfft... Ugh... Ah, ah... My stomach... My stomach hurts... Ah... Pfft...!"

"I'm really scared, so please explain before you laugh."

Mace wiped her tears and opened her mouth, suppressing her trembling body from laughter.

"Ah, Ain... Where did you... wh-where did you come up with... pfft... ah, it's funny again just thinking about it..."

"Is that really funny?"

I knew from the classroom that she had a few screws loose, but I didn't know she was this crazy.

Can someone in holy orders even laugh at mom jokes?

"Ahaha... Ah... Ah, I can breathe now... That was the funniest thing in my entire life..."

"You do understand what I said, right?"

"At first I really thought he was your son, and I stood there dumbfounded for a while.

You and your friend really hit it off."

I don't know about hitting it off, but Max did get hit to death.

"...Then the fight?"

"Huh? Ain, you fought? I was looking at the ground trying not to laugh...."

So she wasn't trembling from fear.

But I definitely can't say that's fortunate.

What does a clergy member rolling on the floor laughing at mom jokes signify?

Isn't it like a signal that the end of the world is coming?

"You shouldn't fight with friends!

Oh, but I did hear that boys grow up fighting."

"Yeah......"

Admiring Mace's bizarre brain structure as she deployed logic I'd heard somewhere before, I started walking again.

...Honestly, I'd just said it self-deprecatingly, and didn't think it was humor worthy of anyone's praise.

But I don't feel too bad.

Passing through the Academy's lit gates, I looked at Mace, whose lips were still twitching as if the "joke" still came to mind.

When our eyes met, Mace began laughing softly again.

She seems more fun than I thought.

Listening to Mace's cheerful laughter, I walked the way home with a somewhat lighter heart.

Until I saw silver glinting under the flickering lamplight.

Red eyes, appearing even redder in the blinking light, stared this way.

Giselle, wearing not her uniform but a dress as black as night, was staring intently at me.

If it were anyone else, they might not have noticed, but I never could.

Standing quietly like a shadow at the edge of the path, with an expression seemingly devoid of emotion, Giselle watched me and Mace walking, then slowly melted into the darkness and disappeared.