And just like that, we were already in the 4th loop of my heart-pounding life as Leila.
Looking back on it, the end of the 3rd loop had been deeply unsatisfying.
The Commander in the 1st loop must have despaired without even knowing Regression existed.
In the 2nd loop, I had been the one to bring about his ruin.
Those had been perfect bad endings — as good as it gets.
But the 3rd loop was the opposite.
The Commander had been ready to abandon everything except his objective.
To pull him back up onto the stage after he'd sunk so low.
I'd had no choice but to sacrifice an important card and give him hope.
If I hadn't done that.
He would have stopped caring whether he lived or died.
He might never have made that anguished expression again.
So my choice had been the right one.
It was undoubtedly the right one, and yet….
[ "I'm sorry I'm late…. Commander. I… remembered." ]
"Haaa…."
Tormented, tormented, tormented beyond bearing.
Despair seeps through the cracks of a shattered heart.
The moment that feeling — thicker and stickier than mud — settles across his face.
That expression steeped in despair, the one I love so dearly, appears.
To me, it is more obscene than the sight of two bodies entwined.
A spectacle more pleasurable than any stimulation of the body's most sensitive places!
And yet it was washed away, dissolved, by a single hollow sentence from me.
"Even watching it again… this part is the worst."
What would have happened if I hadn't spoken to him there?
His heart would have broken beyond any hope of return.
The vessel that held his emotions, shattered under unbearable stress.
Would he eventually have stopped feeling anything at all?
I want to see it.
I want so desperately to see what he would have become!
But the scene playing before me was already the past — already done.
There was no way for me to undo it now.
It felt exactly like watching a beloved manga end with a "it was all a dream" finale.
I stared blankly at the footage as it played, and sank deep into thought.
*He doesn't seem all that sad looking at my corpse.*
Well — he did seem sad, in a way.
But not the kind of face I wanted to see.
Where had the Commander gone, the one who'd held me in his arms and despaired?
Well. It was an unavoidable change, I supposed.
Death is the saddest thing precisely because it cannot be undone.
But the Commander could click Regression and make it as though it never happened.
Even without consciously meaning to, he'd inevitably end up that way.
So honestly, a thought had crossed my mind.
*The original prologue — maybe it's time to move past it?*
"Honestly, a week is just too short. No wonder there's no progress in my relationship with the Commander."
I mean, I was putting on the performance of the perfect heroine here.
Was it really possible he still had no intention of making a move?
Considering the Commander's blunt, reserved personality.
It would probably take at least a month before anything resembling progress occurred.
Ugh, I wanted to become his sweet, devoted lover first.
And then get split in half right in front of his eyes.
I wanted to see him holding my bisected body, drowning in despair!
*Khh, just imagining it feels wonderful. After the Regression, he'd go back to knowing nothing again….*
Either way, Arishia alone would be enough to resolve this whole incident.
I'd wrap things up at a reasonable point and start planning what came next.
That was the direction my thoughts had been drifting — finishing things by taking out Midir.
That is, until the Commander suddenly sparked an inspiration in me.
"Going and making that face out of nowhere…."
All right. Let me think through my own behavior from the Commander's perspective.
Leila, who feels an instinctive revulsion from the memories of the previous loop.
Who eventually grows disappointed in him through misunderstanding and false assumptions.
But who cooperates with his plans out of loyalty and duty as his Adjutant.
Then comes the fierce battle against Midir.
Just before the tide turns in our favor, a mistake puts the Commander in danger.
I rush in and take the blow meant for him, then finish Midir off.
The Commander cries out, demanding to know why I sacrificed myself.
I smile and tell him: because you're my Commander.
The Valkyries gather around him as he holds my body.
Yubina and Arishia arrive too late and blame him for what happened….
"Heh, heheh…. Perfect. This will absolutely work. There's no way it won't hurt him…!"
Just imagining it made my mind tingle with delight.
If I watched it with my own two eyes, I might actually drool.
Commander, I'm only going to play with you this once.
This time, absolutely no misbehaving like last time, all right?
I looked down at the completed plan with deep satisfaction.
Then I placed my hand on the notebook and burned the pages to ash.
Thorough destruction of evidence, so no one could ever read it.
Now all that remained was turning possibility into reality.
I gazed at the darkening sky beyond the window and rose from my seat.
*
A midnight so still it felt as though the moonlight had erased every sound.
I stood before a familiar building and scanned my surroundings.
No eyes turned in my direction.
Confirming that, I knocked carefully on the door before me.
Knock, knock, knock.
Three measured knocks — restrained, not too loud.
I waited quietly for a response from the other side.
A faint rustling sound, and then the door opened.
"Leila? What brings you here at this hour…."
It was the Commander.
It was quite late — apparently he hadn't gone to sleep yet.
He looked flustered by my sudden visit.
But his eyes, unlike his expression, were remarkably calm.
Of course they were. He was the one who'd asked me to come at this hour.
I put on a show of reluctance and spoke.
"…You called for me."
"Ah, yes. Please, come in…."
He nodded and led me inside.
I went in first; the Commander shut the door with a thud behind me.
We walked down the hallway and into the living room, where a faint smell of alcohol hung in the air.
He'd apparently been snacking on the sofa.
Various bits of food were scattered across the table.
"Er, ahem…. So then…."
"Shall we go to the bedroom?"
"…Yes."
The Commander couldn't quite hide how awkward he felt about all of it.
I draped my outer coat over the sofa and turned to look at him with a flat expression.
My cold gaze made him give a small shudder.
For the record, the entire exchange was a scripted performance.
There was always the possibility of eavesdropping.
I was playing along with the Commander's request for exactly that reason.
If there really was someone pulling strings from the shadows.
What would they think, listening to a conversation like this?
A trash Commander laying hands on a beautiful Valkyrie.
And an Adjutant with no choice but to comply — was that what they'd assume?
*…A slightly wicked idea just came to me.*
Yubina seemed to look up to me so much.
What if I secretly recorded this and played it for her?
She'd surely make the most wonderfully expressive face.
Of course, doing that would destroy the Commander's reputation entirely.
So I kept it to imagining Yubina's face, and nothing more.
After following the Commander into the bedroom side by side.
I didn't sit on the bed like last time — I kept close to the wall instead.
Even if it couldn't be helped, I had no desire to be near him.
That silent declaration made the Commander's expression darken.
Still, he seemed to decide this wasn't the time to dwell on feelings.
He composed himself into something businesslike and serious.
"Have you finished everything I asked?"
"Yes. I've secured the ten nighttime-operation lighting drones you requested. I've written up a training schedule to go with them, so they'll be ready to use starting tomorrow. What about you, Commander?"
"I've narrowed down the locations with the highest probability of Erosion Species appearing and issued an access lockdown under the pretext of maintenance work. However… I was unable to secure the tracking devices."
"I'll get those. I know where to find them."
Our plan for the confrontation with Midir was straightforward.
Locate Midir preying on civilians within the city.
Use the lighting drones to eliminate all shadows, then eliminate the target on the spot.
And in the event we failed to finish it off.
We planned to plant a pre-prepared tracker on its body.
Because losing it once didn't mean it was over — it would just keep running rampant.
Suppressing that behavior was a judgment call we'd both agreed was worthwhile.
*This one… is more capable than I expected.*
The Commander knew very little about Midir.
And yet even from my perspective, this plan looked like it would work with room to spare.
Thinking back, there had been signs of it all along.
Revealing himself as a Regressor the moment he returned. Summoning an Inspector to the city the instant he learned of the conspiracy.
Drastic, yes — but every single method was effective.
Wasn't this one the top graduate of the military academy?
He was far too talented for a backwater city like this. How did he end up here?
For the first time, I found myself genuinely curious about the Commander's past.
Well. I could look into that slowly, later.
As our discussion of the plan was drawing to a close.
I glanced at the Commander and asked carefully.
"Um, Commander."
"Yes."
"Have you… happened to see a pen anywhere? In the bedroom?"
"A pen?"
He looked puzzled.
His expression said he had no idea why I'd be looking for it in his bedroom.
Then, a moment later, the Commander's face went rigid.
It was because we'd ended up rolling around on the floor together.
He must have recalled that it could have fallen then.
Ah, right. Since I had the opportunity — why not scratch at his conscience a little more?
I bit my lip as though anxious and spoke to him.
"It's something precious to me…."
"Ugh, I haven't seen it, but… I'll help you look."
Good. He took the bait.
I bowed my head in a small nod of thanks.
And proceeded to act out searching around the bedroom alongside him.
The moment the Commander bent down to look under the bed.
I swiftly pulled the camera from my pocket.
The spot I'd already identified: the top of the wardrobe, with a clear view of the entire bedroom.
I rose onto my toes, set it down without a sound.
Then immediately resumed looking around with an innocent expression.
"Ah, I found it!"
"Oh, really?!"
"Here… it had fallen under the bed."
The Commander retrieved the pen I'd hidden beneath the bed.
It had picked up a little dust, but nothing a quick brush wouldn't fix.
I carefully accepted the pen he held out to me.
And moved my fingertips — as if by accident — to brush against his hand.
We both startled at the same moment and looked at each other.
"Oh, um… thank you."
"Not at all. It's partly my fault…."
The atmosphere was painfully awkward.
A silence so complete it couldn't have been quieter.
I counted numbers in my head, waiting for the right moment.
Then let the tension drain from my shoulders and smiled faintly.
"This… is a keepsake from a friend."
"A keepsake?"
A lie.
It was one of the pens that had been rolling around at headquarters before I came to Lumia.
There was no reason for it to have any sentimental story attached.
But the Commander had no way of knowing that.
He looked at me with eyes that said he was glad I hadn't lost it.
Completely fooled. I closed my fingers around the pen and continued.
"I've been using it for so long, I always carry it with me…. But when I checked this morning, it was gone…."
"…I see."
Subtly, I'd made him think back to what had happened that morning.
The moment I'd told him to make sure nothing like this ever happened again.
It was no different from telling him that those words hadn't been my true feelings.
As I spoke, I watched the Commander's expression from the corner of my eye.
A serious look — impossible to tell what he was thinking.
Perhaps all manner of things were swirling through his mind in disorder.
"No, that was a pointless thing to say. I'll be going now."
"…Yes."
"Then, until tomorrow."
"Until tomorrow."
The more detailed a lie, the more gaps it leaves.
It was always better to leave the details to the other person's imagination.
Having made that judgment, I brought the conversation to a swift close.
It wasn't time to make up yet.
I turned my back on him without warmth and said my farewell.
I intended to go back and spend the rest of the night watching the Commander.
And so time passed, and the 5th day arrived.
The deep of night gave way to a sky turning blue with morning light.
My heart was pounding with excitement, like a child on the way to a picnic.