Observation

When I was little, we had a cat at home.

White and soft-looking, so we named her Cream Cheese.

She wasn't particularly pretty, but she had a gentle temperament and was plenty affectionate.

I doted on her in my own way.

But then came high school — maybe it was the dormitory life.

Cream Cheese didn't recognize me when I came home after a long absence.

No affection, no warmth. The moment I approached, she'd bolt.

It was a deeply shocking experience.

*I gave her treats. I was so good to her!*

Still, a few days of dedicated playtime must have done the trick.

I managed to win Cream Cheese back somehow.

But that first moment of rejection — it stayed with me, vivid as ever.

So why was that memory surfacing now?

The reason was simple. I'd found myself in a remarkably similar situation.

"Commander. Good morning."

"It's not work hours yet. Why are you in the Commander's office?"

"I checked yesterday and noticed quite a backlog of paperwork. I came in early to sort through it."

"Tch. Doing things no one asked you to…."

"Ugh…. I'm sorry. I'll be more careful from now on."

The second morning of Lumia — experienced for the third time.

The Commander looked at me and frowned, as though my presence displeased him.

He clearly didn't appreciate me acting on my own initiative.

Caught off guard, I bowed my head politely and promised to be more careful.

Then, at an angle he couldn't see, I stuck out my lower lip.

*The nerve of him….*

Of course, I'd already figured it out.

That attitude of his was closer to a performance than genuine feeling.

When people lie, they leave unconscious signals.

Avoiding the other person's eyes without realizing it.

Eyes drifting to the left while fabricating a story.

Palms going damp with sweat for no particular reason.

Whatever I might look like, I am a practiced liar.

I picked up on the Commander's tells when he was being dishonest almost immediately.

*At first I was too flustered to notice…. But watching him over time, I can see he avoids eye contact every time he says something harsh.*

He was never particularly skilled at lying to begin with.

When something was difficult to say, he'd simply press his lips shut and say nothing.

Returning to a point in time doesn't make you suddenly good at deception.

A lie visible enough to catch if you looked carefully.

The way he'd walked back to his room last night without waiting for anyone to show him the way.

The person in front of me was unmistakably on his 3rd loop, same as me.

For some reason or another, he was putting on an act — that much seemed certain.

Even knowing that, it was still frustrating.

Every version of the Commander up until now had felt like a loyal hound where I was concerned.

Being treated like this by him, of all people, irritated me for no good reason.

*I'm allowed to lie. You're not.*

*After everything I did for you. You ungrateful little Cream Cheese.*

After finishing my exchange with the Commander, I returned to my desk.

I worked through the documents while turning the question over in my mind.

*But what does this one actually want?*

What gave me the worst headache was something else entirely.

Thinking about how he'd been acting toward me and the Rabbit Hole Squad —

It seemed like he was trying to lower his affinity with the Valkyries….

But what was the point of that?

What could he possibly gain from this?

Part of me wanted to crack open his skull and look inside.

*Haah…. This loop, I was planning to drive him mad with the lovers' act, then die in front of him to an Erosion Species. This isn't going to work at this rate….*

What did he think I spread the Leila capture guide for?

If he heard it, acting on it immediately was the obvious move.

I told him he could make Leila his lover with ease — and he's just going to sit on that?

Scratch scratch scratch.

The tip of the pen I was holding gouged mercilessly into the paper.

What on earth did the Commander's strange behavior mean?

Then, all at once, an ominous thought surfaced in my mind.

*Wait. Hold on. What if watching me die in front of him was too painful…. And this time he's trying to cut off all contact from the start….*

Given his personality, the probability was low.

But it was possible he'd given up on saving me.

And if he was severing ties so it wouldn't hurt when I died…?

That was the worst-case scenario I could imagine.

So I'd never get to see his anguished face again?

No. Absolutely not. Don't break down on me already, Commander!

*That's strange…. He's not the type to fall apart over something like this….*

Slightly unsettled, I stole a glance at the Commander.

He was sitting in his chair, staring at his terminal with a bored expression.

The documents were untouched — he clearly hadn't done a single thing.

Whatever was going on, I needed to get a read on what was underneath.

I rose from my seat and approached him.

Then, hesitating a little, I asked carefully.

"Commander. The communications platoon has submitted a request for budget reallocation. Should I approve it?"

"Budget reallocation? Why would that be necessary?"

"Well, the previous Commander allocated most of the budget in a rather unreasonable way…. It seems like it needs to be properly restructured."

"Does it really?"

"Pardon?"

I opened my eyes wide, as though I couldn't understand.

I knew perfectly well what he was getting at, of course.

But this kind of expression suited Leila — Leila, who had a certain naïve streak.

The Commander spoke without meeting my eyes.

"You're saying things are managing to function as they are, aren't you? Leave it alone."

"C-Commander. That's a problem. The way things stand, there will definitely be disruptions to operations…!"

"Leave it alone. Did I not just say that?"

Flinch.

My shoulders jerked sharply at the coldness in his voice.

Then, as though my spirit had deflated, I dropped my gaze to the floor.

A Valkyrie cannot defy the Commander's orders.

That held true between him and me as well.

I couldn't accept it, not in the slightest — but orders couldn't be defied.

I performed that expression, and forced myself to speak.

"Understood…."

"…."

It was nothing like the previous loops, where trust and faith had bound us together.

Between us now, there was only rank and authority.

I couldn't quite lift my head as I returned to my seat.

Good. That's enough seed-planting for now.

Still, I needed confirmation.

So after setting a small scheme in motion with a restless feeling in my chest —

I stood up from my seat and spoke in a voice that carried just a hint of weariness.

"Commander. I have business with the operations platoon. Would you like to come along?"

"No. Too much trouble. Go by yourself."

"…Yes. I'll be back shortly."

I gave a small bow and walked out of the Commander's office.

Once outside, I made my rounds through various parts of the base.

Perhaps because the first impression with the Rabbit Hole Squad had been so disastrous —

The Commander had begun to develop a bad reputation within the branch.

"Leila! Is it true? They're saying this Commander is a Valkyrie discriminator!"

"There's a rumor he insulted a Valkyrie he ran into by chance…!"

"Ahaha, who knows…?"

"U-um, could I possibly exchange terminal numbers with you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I left my terminal behind for a bit…. Let's definitely do it next time we meet!"

This Commander was no different from before — a Valkyrie discriminator through and through.

His already poor reputation plummeted straight into the ground in no time.

Meanwhile, I was performing the role of angelic Leila to perfection.

Having a common enemy to gossip about seemed to help.

I found it far easier to get close to the other Valkyries than in previous loops.

"I'm back from my outside duties. Would you like a report?"

"No."

"Yes. Understood."

After finishing my external work and returning —

I gave the Commander my report and settled back into my seat.

That was when I noticed the terminal I'd hidden out of sight.

Now then. What would it have captured?

Making sure the Commander couldn't see, I slipped an earbud in.

Then I played back the recording I'd left running while I was away.

Naturally, the first few minutes contained nothing.

So I sped through at an accelerated pace — and finally, the Commander's voice came through the recording.

*—Huu…. Even if it's not sincere…. It's a little…. tiring….*

Zing!

The moment I heard those words, a dizzying rush went through me.

The thrill of uncovering what had been carefully hidden away.

Just as I thought — everything up until now had been an act.

You adorable thing. You should have been more careful about who might be listening.

A grin threatened to break across my face, and I had to clap my hand over my mouth.

*Is there more? Something even better, something that really hits….*

I'd been away for roughly an hour and a half.

Was there anything more entertaining, more electrifying than this?

I pretended to work through my documents while devoting every scrap of attention to the recording.

Then, just as the recording was nearing its end, the Commander's voice came through again.

*—Leila. I will save you. No matter what….*

*Oh.*

Whoosh… bang!

Fireworks went off inside my head.

All I could hear was his voice — and yet his expression came to me naturally, unbidden.

Of course it did. He'd wanted so desperately to save me.

He must have carried feelings that ran deeper than most.

Treating me this coldly couldn't be easy for him.

So that meant, that meant….

Oh, you absolute idiot. I can't take it.

"Commander. I need to use the restroom for a moment."

"…."

I marshaled every last ounce of composure I had.

Fortunately, the Commander didn't even glance my way.

My face must have looked a little off. Truly fortunate.

I slipped out of the Commander's office and hurried down the corridor.

Nearly running. The world swam slightly before my eyes.

Just then, I spotted the familiar coiled buns of Yubina coming from the opposite direction.

"Oh, Leila! Where are you headed, yes?"

"Could you move? I'm a little busy right now…."

"Hih, ah… understood, yes…."

Under normal circumstances I'd have stopped to chat. Right now, that was genuinely impossible.

With the patience of someone holding back a dam on the verge of bursting, I walked past her.

At last I reached a restroom with almost no foot traffic.

I stepped into the farthest stall, sat down on the lid of the toilet —

and with one earbud in, I played back the recording.

*

Perhaps because I'd let it all out until I felt thoroughly purged. My chest felt light.

Or maybe it was the relief of having shed the anxiety that had been building up.

Right. As long as the Commander hasn't given up on me, that's all that matters.

I rinsed my slightly pruned hands under running water.

Then I walked out of the restroom looking remarkably refreshed.

Ah. The world seemed so brilliantly bright.

Back in the Commander's office, I resumed my work with perfect composure.

Before I knew it, evening had arrived.

When it was time to leave for the day, I approached the Commander.

"Commander. Perhaps today…."

"I'll go first."

"Oh, wait…!"

I reached out and caught the Commander before he could walk away.

He turned back with an indifferent expression —

but knowing what lay underneath, I had to fight to keep from smiling.

Right, so what exactly is the purpose behind pushing me away on purpose?

In that case…. The harder I push toward him, the harder it must be for him?

I felt a delicious chill run through me as I asked.

"Could we…. have dinner together?"

A plea that carried something almost desperate in it.

And yet without losing any of Leila's dignity.

The attitude of someone who still believed he was a good person.

After a brief silence, he answered.

"I'll decline. I have no particular interest in getting close to Valkyries."

"…Oh."

I stared at him blankly.

A clear, deliberate line drawn between human and Valkyrie.

My gaze, trembling, drifted downward until it settled on the floor.

"I… apologize for the intrusion…."

I turned away, my expression carrying just a trace of hurt.

Then I walked down the corridor as though fleeing.

Haah. How much must that be aching in his chest right now?

I glanced back — and the smile on my face simply would not stop.