I quietly took Yuria back to her room.
The trembling in her body had subsided quite a bit compared to before.
"…Feeling a little calmer now? Yuria."
"Mm."
Yuria nodded, her expression still unreadable.
Just in case, I gave her some warm water, and she drank it down in quick little sips.
"I'm sorry."
"…Why is Baal apologizing?"
"Because it's something to apologize for. If I had watched over you just a little more carefully, this wouldn't have happened."
Back when I first rescued her from Rosemill Village.
What if I had kept a closer eye on Yuria from that point on?
Thinking about it now, it really had been too hasty a judgment.
A child abandoned by her parents at the mere age of six, living on calmly without bearing any wound to her heart—that was simply an impossible thing to expect.
Just because emotion doesn't show on the surface doesn't mean there's no suffering underneath.
Even without my knowing, Yuria had been ceaselessly fighting against the nightmares of her past and the terror that came with them.
"It's not Baal's fault. It's because Yuria is a bad child."
"Why do you think you're a bad child?"
"Mom and Dad said so. They said I'm a monster. The kids in the village said I'm not even human, that I have the blood of a demon in me."
If those faces were in front of me right now, I would have flattened them on the spot.
Putting strength into my clenched fist, I forced myself to stay calm and focused on Yuria's words.
"You are never a bad child. You can ignore what those people said."
"Really? Yuria's not a bad child?"
"Of course not. Out of everyone I've ever known, you're the kindest child there is."
"What about Lyriette?"
"Ah, um… you're both so kind that I couldn't possibly rank you."
Was it just my imagination?
Somehow I felt like if Lyriette had been here, she would have glared at me at least once.
"Yuria, I know it's hard, but could you tell me about what happened before? Whenever you're ready."
"Before?"
"Like when your parents abandoned you, or what happened afterward too, if that's alright."
"It won't be interesting."
"I'm not asking to be entertained, so it's fine."
Saying this with a bitter smile, Yuria fell into thought for a moment before carefully parting her lips.
"Honestly, I don't remember much. When I woke up, I was already in the rain."
"They abandoned you while you were sleeping?"
"Mm. And when I went back home, there was no one there."
"….."
I barely managed to hold back the curse that nearly escaped me.
A mere six years old.
Left in the rain for even a few hours, a frail child like that could have died of hypothermia—and they abandoned her and fled in the middle of the night?
It was a miracle she'd survived at all.
"So I didn't want to sleep alone. I was scared Baal would abandon me too."
So that was it.
With Lyriette, there had at least been elements that allowed for a deep bond to form with me in a short time, but with Yuria, it had puzzled me somewhat that she showed signs of depending on me even without such factors.
I'd simply thought it was an unusually fast-forming inner closeness, but was that too, in its own way, a survival instinct born of trauma?
"Why didn't you tell me that?"
"Because Baal said Yuria is a good child."
"So because you're a good child, you tried to listen to me even when you didn't want to."
"Mm."
Truly, a heartbreaking story.
She had tried to remain a good child because she didn't want to be hated.
Because she believed a bad child would be abandoned.
But conversely, because she was a good child, she couldn't say she didn't want to be abandoned.
Even as the night approached that might bring that terror again, all she could do was hold her breath and endure.
No matter what she did, there was no escaping that cage.
And so she endured, and endured, and endured.
Too heavy a burden for a mere ten-year-old girl to bear.
"Baal, there's something I'm curious about."
"Tell me anything."
"What's this feeling called?"
"Which one do you mean?"
At my question, Yuria pointed to her own chest.
"Even when I thought Baal was going to abandon me again, even when the friends I met today looked at me like I was a monster—it stings, right here. Why is that? Even when Dad hit me, even when the kids threw stones at me, it never hurt."
So she couldn't feel physical pain, but she could feel the pain her heart carried?
That made it all the more heartbreaking.
I resented that so-called god with a weariness that never seemed to end.
If he was going to take something away, he should have taken it all.
As it was, it felt as if he had deliberately left this one last fragment behind, just to enjoy watching this child grow confused and suffer.
"Yuria, that's called fear."
"Fear?"
"Yes. It's the most primal, most fundamental emotion humans have. Another word for it is terror."
"Then how do I make it go away?"
"It can't go away. Humans, by nature, can only live because they have the emotion called fear."
Because of the fear of death, humans can go on living.
Because they know the fear of losing something precious, humans can find the strength to protect someone.
Though for Yuria now, such words might be hard to understand.
Someday, a day would come when she would understand their meaning.
"Yuria, you said it before, didn't you? That you wanted to learn magic to understand emotions."
"Mm, I did."
"It's a bit late to ask, but may I ask why? As you've experienced yourself, emotions aren't always good things. Sometimes they bring sadness, pain, and they torment people."
"The reason…"
Yuria rolled the words around in her mouth for a long while before finally looking up at me with her ruby-colored eyes and parting her lips.
"…I want to show you."
"Show me what?"
"I want to show Baal, Yuria's smiling face."
"….."
It was a completely unexpected answer.
I had assumed that the Yuria I knew would say something like not wanting to be called a monster anymore.
Or simply, that as a matter of principle, humans naturally feel emotions, so she wanted to as well.
I had expected something a little more fundamental than this.
"When I practiced smiling, Lyriette said I didn't need to force it. She said Baal wouldn't want that either."
"…That's true."
Sometimes Yuria would forcibly pull up the corners of her mouth, making a strange, grotesque imitation of a smile.
Watching that always made my heart ache.
"But she also said this. That if Yuria ever smiles for real someday, Baal will be happy."
"Of course I would be."
I would probably feel like I had gained the whole world.
If that were ever to happen, I might embarrass myself by bursting into tears.
"So I want to smile. I want to see Baal happy. I want to see Baal smile."
"So it's not for your own sake, but to smile for mine."
"Mm. Is that not okay?"
"How could it not be."
If that was Yuria's wish, I wanted to grant it to her as many times as she wanted.
Even if that wish wasn't for her own sake.
If this was the first flower that had ever bloomed in her heart—
Then I would make it bloom perfectly.
That was the vow I made.
"Baal."
"Mm?"
"If Yuria manages to smile, will you praise me?"
"As much as you like."
"Will you pat my head too, and hug me tight?"
"I'll hold you until you tell me to stop, and I won't let go."
The question "Won't you abandon me?" never came up again.
That fact alone made me happier than anything else.
I took it as her way of quietly, roundaboutly expressing that she trusted me.
At least this person won't abandon me.
At least this person won't call me a monster.
If she could hold onto even just that much faith, I felt I could do anything for this child.
"Then, I'll learn it."
"Have you decided?"
"Mm. I want to smile. Even if there are more days I cry, that's fine. I want to smile, even if it's just for one day."
"……Alright."
It seemed all that time spent up all night yesterday poring over spellbooks hadn't been for nothing.
If only I'd been a little quicker, I could have shown her this light of hope sooner, without having to watch her suffer for even a moment longer.
That was the one thing I regretted.
"Yuria, put your hand over mine."
"Like this?"
As Yuria placed her hand over mine, I quickly drew out a thin thread from my mana core.
It was called a Link—the only means by which mana cores could be directly connected.
"Do you feel something entering your body right now?"
"Mm, I feel it."
"Try imagining connecting it to the area beside your heart, near your solar plexus. I'll help you, so don't worry too much."
"Uungh…."
Truly, she deserved her reputation as the greatest talent in this story.
Despite never having so much as touched magic before, Yuria managed to fully link her mana core with mine from nothing more than that vague explanation.
'Vicious.'
Only then, for the first time, did the full state of Yuria's mana core come into view through the mental image.
As expected, the mana core I saw before me was already barely her own anymore.
Star's Blessing.
And among them, the most malicious, the most avaricious of all such powers—Gluttony.
True to its infamous name, the mana core that should have been dotted red was instead stained black, sending its roots creeping out in every direction.
There was no helping it.
Gluttony was, by its very existence, a power like a black hole, ceaselessly devouring the natural mana around it in real time.
Without taking root this firmly, the body simply couldn't withstand it.
Yuria's body knew this too, which was why it had allowed this to happen.
But if left as it was, the scope of that permission would only continue to widen.
First it was pain, then emotion.
And now that it had even begun absorbing Chaos Mana, it might eventually try to devour her very soul.
If that was the case, then what I had to do was simple.
Take upon myself the burden that Gluttony forced Yuria's body to bear.
Of course, it wouldn't be perfect.
At most, seven-tenths. By my calculations, five-tenths was likely the limit.
But even that much should be enough to clear away the thorny roots that had dug so deep into Yuria's chest.
After that, the rest would be entirely up to Yuria herself.
All I could do was lay down the groundwork for her.
Ssssuuup…!
Forcing my own mana in, I drew out the power of the Chaos Mana tangled within her mana core, along with the great mass of mana that had been suppressed all this time.
"Guh…!"
As that power began to slowly flow into me, as if in a tug-of-war, agony shot through me as though my organs were being crushed.
This was insane.
I'd been called a genius of sorts once upon a time, and yet merely enduring this was all I could manage.
I supposed there was no avoiding it when using such an underhanded method.
In the original story, Clovis had absorbed even Yuria's soul in order to make Gluttony entirely his own, which had ironically lessened the burden on him. But in my case, I was leaving Gluttony intact and taking on Yuria's burden alone—of course it would be like this.
But there was no other way.
If I tried to pull out Gluttony itself, Yuria's very soul might be damaged in the process.
To begin with, carelessly meddling with a Star's Blessing connected to the soul was madness in itself.
"Kh-hack!"
This damned body of mine had no sense of restraint, screaming out again and again.
Somehow swallowing back the mouthful of blood threatening to spill out, I clamped my hand over my mouth and pressed on with the process.
This should be about as much as I could pull out for now.
No—just a little more. Let's try a little more.
Even if my life as a mage ended right here, right now, I wanted to see this child's smile.
"Baal? What's wrong? Your face looks strange."
"…It's nothing. I was just imagining our Yuria smiling, and I got a little too happy, that's all."
I had to finish quickly, before Yuria noticed something was wrong.
At least I hadn't let her see the blood—small comfort as that was.
'There!'
As a large mass of dark, congealed mana was finally drawn out, I forcibly severed the Link connecting the two mana cores.
"Guhh…!"
Damn it.
Chaos Mana truly was Chaos Mana, through and through.
Even including all the previously condensed mana.
It seemed I'd barely managed to pull out even three-tenths of the Chaos Mana. Was this really all I could manage?
I clutched at my chest, my heart feeling like it was about to burst.
I mobilized every recovery spell I could use, forcing the pain to subside.
But my consciousness could no longer hold on, and my body pitched forward, blood finally spilling from my mouth.
"B-Baal? What's wrong…!? Baal, Baal…!"
For the first time, urgency crept into Yuria's flat, toneless voice.
Through my fading vision, I caught a glimpse of her face.
In the corners of her eyes—just a single drop, but there it was.
The proof, at last, that this child had taken her first step forward.
'What a shame.'
I had vowed that when this child finally learned to make an expression, the first thing I would see would be her smile.
"…Yuria."
"Mm…! Yuria's here. Can you see me, Baal?"
"Yes. I can see you clearly."
I couldn't touch Yuria's face with hands stained in blood.
So I squeezed out what mana I had left to burn away the blood on my hands, and somehow managed to cup her face.
"Yuria, I have a request."
"A request…?"
"Would you smile for me, just once? Truly, with all your heart."
I knew it was an unreasonable request even as I made it.
Then Yuria, on the verge of tears, took hold of the hand resting against her cheek and held it tight,
"……Mm. I'll smile. For Baal, Yuria will smile."
And she answered me with the brightest, most radiant smile imaginable.
