I swiped up on my smartphone screen.
The videos on the display flipped past rapidly.
Buried deep in my bed, I scrolled through Neotube.
Anything worth watching?
[5M Views] National Savior Kang Tae-ho, A Summary of His Bloody Two Years!
I furrowed my brow.
I tapped the three dots in the upper right corner of the video. Touched "Not Interested."
Swiped up on the screen again.
[Live Hot Clip] The Nation's Little Sister's Gangnam Station Outfit Analysis! What Brand Is That Sky Blue Dress?
This time I pressed "Don't Recommend Channel" without hesitation.
My algorithm had turned into a garbage dump thanks to those vulture channels profiting off my dark history.
There's really nothing to watch.
I yawned lazily.
—Slam.
Without warning, my door burst open violently.
"Oppa! What are you doing! Hurry up and come out!"
It was Kang Ha-eun, a twenty-eight-year-old office worker at a major corporation.
My gaze still fixed on my smartphone screen, I answered.
"Breathing. Close the door and leave."
"Ah, the weather's absolutely insane today! Are you really going to stay cooped up at home on the weekend? Let's go shopping!"
"Not going. Too much trouble."
I pulled the blanket up to my chin.
Ha-eun strode over and yanked away the blanket I was covered with.
In terms of raw strength, I could fold this apartment in half with one finger.
But I couldn't use mana on family.
I was dragged along in a state of non-resistance.
"Ah, seriously! I got totally chewed out by my manager at work this week and I'm stressed to the max! Oppa, heal me!"
"Not my problem."
I raised my right hand and lightly flicked my index and middle fingers.
—Snap.
With a crisp friction sound, the desk drawer slid open smoothly.
A black plastic piece that had been shoved inside floated up, wrapped in blue mana.
A black card.
The corporate card the government had given me after the Gate incident ended, telling me to swipe it without limit.
I manipulated the flow of mana.
The card spun through the air and tapped Kang Ha-eun's forehead.
"Take this. Buy a luxury bag or change your car, swipe it however you want. But don't call me and go by yourself."
Kang Ha-eun respectfully received the black card with both hands.
The corners of her mouth hooked to her ears, trembling.
"Oh! As expected of our family's pillar! Your style is insane!"
Then she bolted out to the living room without looking back.
Saved.
I pulled the blanket back over myself.
I was about to resume the anime I'd been watching.
"Mom!! Oppa gave me the card!! Hurry and dress him!!"
Ha-eun's wicked cry echoed from the living room.
A chill ran down my spine.
The door opened again.
"My baby! Let's go shopping!"
It was my mother.
Ms. Lee Yeon-suk approached the bed with a bright smile and stuck both hands under my armpits.
Whoosh.
My body was lifted into the air.
I'm supposedly an S-Rank Hunter of South Korea, but in front of Mom, I'm just a stuffed doll.
"Ah, Mom. I gave Ha-eun the card. You two go have fun..."
"We need to buy clothes for our youngest daughter too! Are you going to live in those dreary tracksuits forever?"
Ha-eun grinned wickedly behind me and thrust a hanger at me.
A yellow checkered shirt.
Cute denim overalls that came down to the knees.
"Oppa, I reserved this new item on the department store app yesterday—isn't it super cute? Today's outfit is definitely this."
Overalls for a thirty-two-year-old guy.
I furrowed my brow hard.
"Not wearing it. I'd rather die than wear it. I'll go close another A-Rank Gate right now instead."
"Oh my, Tae-ho. This is so pretty, why are you like this? Hurry and put your arms in."
Mother forcibly grabbed my arms.
I didn't even have the energy to resist.
I sighed deeply and resigned myself.
Snapping the neck of a giant monster with mana was something I could do with my eyes closed, but there was no method on Earth to win against these two women with logic.
I grudgingly shoved my arms into the shirt.
Ha-eun carefully fastened the overall buttons with clicks.
I looked in the full-length mirror.
A kindergartener going on a field trip stood there with puffy cheeks.
A wave of existential crisis washed over me.
* * * * *
It was the underground parking lot of a large department store in Gangnam.
I got out of the SUV my sister was driving.
The VVIP-exclusive elevator glided up and opened on the top floor.
It was a personal shopper room that ordinary people couldn't even enter.
Wide leather sofas and premium marble floors.
Mother and Ha-eun were already absorbed in browsing the new clothes that staff had wheeled in on hangers.
I crammed myself into a corner of the sofa and sucked on orange juice.
"Tae-ho! Look at this! This lace hat would be perfect for my baby!"
"Uh... do whatever."
I spat out a soulless short answer.
How much time had passed?
The shopping bags piled beside me began to stack up like a mountain.
I absolutely couldn't stand this suffocating space any longer.
"I'm going to the bathroom for a bit."
I made a half-hearted excuse and escaped the VVIP room.
To relieve my boredom, I took the escalator up to a higher floor.
It was a special floor selling Hunter-exclusive equipment and weapons.
Better to look at weapons than watch women shop for clothes—it's healthier for my sanity.
I entered a fairly large weapons store.
Display cases held gleaming swords and spears, and armor made from processed monster bones and hides.
Thanks to my yellow checkered shirt and overalls outfit, I clashed terribly with the store's atmosphere.
"Hey, kid. Are you lost? This place sells dangerous stuff."
A store employee in a black suit approached.
I looked up at the employee with indifferent eyes.
"I'm not a kid. I came to look at weapons."
The employee looked down at my face more carefully, then gasped.
"K-Kang Tae-ho Hunter?!"
The employee's back bent at a 90-degree angle.
Thick cold sweat beaded on his forehead.
"I-I'm so sorry! I didn't recognize you in casual clothes!"
"Whatever. Do you have any special equipment that came in recently? Something useful."
The employee pointed nervously to the center of the display case.
"Ah! This time we have a greatsword processed from the fangs of an A-Rank boss monster subjugated in Africa..."
"That would just be heavy."
"Th-then how about this mana amplification staff..."
"I said in interviews three times that I don't use magic wands."
The employee became speechless.
I slowly scanned the displayed weapons.
Pathetic.
There was no weapon sharper than the slashes I created by compressing my mana.
There was no magical tool with more destructive power than firing dozens of mana spheres like I'd seen in webtoons.
The anime techniques I imagined in my head were thousands of times stronger than these toys.
My interest faded.
"Good work. Nothing to buy."
I left the store without regret.
I was about to take the escalator back down to the floor where my family was when I heard a commotion from the central plaza.
"Wow, amazing. Is that really Kang Tae-ho?"
"Insane. Must be a new department store model photoshoot!"
"The Nation's Little Sister's style is crazy—quick, take a picture!"
People were holding up their smartphones, filming one spot.
I turned my gaze.
A massive electronic billboard filling the plaza wall was flashing.
On that billboard, a stunningly beautiful girl in a yellow checkered shirt and overalls stood with an awkwardly stiff expression.
It was my photo that Ha-eun had taken in the VVIP room earlier, claiming it was a test shot.
"......"
My thought process stopped.
What?
What the hell is this situation?
"Oppa!! How is it? Isn't it awesome?!"
Kang Ha-eun came running excitedly from behind.
"You... what the hell are you doing right now?"
"Ah, I slipped a deal to the personal shopper earlier. I said if they wanted to make my oppa a model, there were conditions."
This crazy girl.
A thick vein bulged on my forehead.
"Take it down. Now. Selling someone's face without permission?"
"Selling? Am I stupid? Do you know how much Oppa's name is worth?!"
Ha-eun confidently put her hands on her hips.
"You know that VVIP exclusive top floor lounge we were just in? With the department store chairman's direct approval, it's been permanently designated as our family's exclusive floor. A dedicated chef and masseuse on standby 365 days."
"......"
"Think that's all? From now on, all overseas luxury goods and premium ingredients coming into this department store? We get first priority exclusivity. You know you can't buy stuff even with money because the seas are blocked, right? Mom already grabbed three new bags."
I clenched my fists.
I seriously considered drawing up mana and slicing that billboard into perfect cubes right now.
But I saw Mother smiling brightly with both hands full of shopping bags.
"My baby looks like a real celebrity on such a big screen!"
Haah.
The strength in my fists gradually released.
I let out a deep sigh.
I can't win against family.
"Do whatever you want. But dinner tonight is definitely premium sushi delivery."
"Okay! Deal! I'll swipe the corporate card!"
Ha-eun hummed and led the way.
People around started recognizing me, taking pictures and cheering.
I lowered my head and shoved my hands into my overall pockets as I quickened my pace.
On the way home.
Crammed into the back seat of the SUV, I turned on my smartphone.
A live streaming broadcast appeared in the Neotube algorithm.
[Live] Major Guild 'Azure Dragon', C-Rank Mutated Gate Subjugation Operation!
On screen, five heavily armed Hunters were fighting large orc mutants.
The tank was holding up a shield, but with one swing of an orc's club, he was pushed back and the formation collapsed.
The formation was a complete mess.
The ranged DPS was taking forever to cast magic even though monsters were right in front of them.
"Tsk tsk."
I clicked my tongue without realizing it.
"These days, Hunters are so weak, so weak. They call that a formation? They should tilt the shield 15 degrees more to deflect it—they tried to block it with force and fell over."
Dry old-timer remarks poured out one after another.
Two years ago. I remembered the days when I slept two hours a night and worked the front lines until I was shitting blood.
Back then, I'd cave in the skulls of C-Rank monsters like that with mana-wrapped fists.
"Back in my day, I charged in barehanded without a shield and ripped out spines. Kids these days have no hungry spirit. They lack resolve as Hunters, resolve."
Ha-eun, gripping the steering wheel, glanced at me through the rearview mirror.
"Ugh, our old man. Starting with the 'back in my day' talk again. Oppa, you're abnormally strong, okay? That's their best."
"If they slack off like that and a wave hits, that whole party becomes corpses."
I turned off the broadcast with a tap.
I was too frustrated and pathetic to watch anymore.
This is why I can't rest comfortably.
If an S-Rank or A-Rank broke out somewhere, that old man would obviously call me begging for help again.
Just thinking about it made me tired.
Through the car window, I saw the familiar apartment complex.
We finally arrived at the penthouse.
As soon as I opened the front door, I stripped off the overalls and checkered shirt.
I changed into gray sweatpants with stretched-out knees.
Now I feel alive.
"Don't call me until the sushi arrives."
I firmly warned Ha-eun and Mother.
I slammed the door and dove onto the bed.
The soft mattress enveloped my body.
I pulled the tablet stand and set it up in the air in front of my face.
I opened the anime playlist I hadn't finished earlier.
I pressed play.
The protagonist on screen was raising a shining sword and shouting.
The corners of my mouth lifted slightly.
"Yeah. This is life."
Doing nothing, rolling around, spending time meaninglessly.
This damp peace is the best.
To protect this peace, I'll slice up every monster bastard that appears and disturbs my recuperation.
I stared at the tablet screen with half-closed eyes.
