It lasted only a fraction of a second, but I felt it instinctively.
I had just touched a nerve with Lee Sae-a.
What was that?
Did I say something wrong?
I quickly retraced everything I'd just said, but nothing stood out as a clear misstep.
Which meant that a single offhand compliment had somehow gotten under her skin.
"Sae-a."
"Yes?"
Lee Sae-a asked calmly, as if nothing had happened.
"If I said something out of line, I apologize."
"……"
She looked at me without any change in expression.
Silence stretched between us.
A strange tension hung in the air.
"…You have good instincts. Most people wouldn't have noticed. I imagine that will serve you well in our work going forward."
Unexpectedly, Sae-a offered me a compliment.
On the surface, it seemed like nothing more than a simple remark.
But for some reason, it felt to me like a desperate attempt to bury the subject.
She popped a sausage into her mouth and chewed quietly.
I did the same.
Silence settled over us again.
But even though it was the same silence, the atmosphere had shifted. The air between us felt heavier now, as though an invisible line had been drawn.
"It was nothing. Just an unpleasant memory that surfaced for a moment."
"……"
"Everyone has memories like that."
"They do."
"So please, don't worry about it."
I don't have the ability to read minds.
But in that moment, I didn't need to.
I could tell that Sae-a had no desire to continue this conversation.
Respecting her wishes, I opened my textbook and returned to my meal.
Eyes on the page, food in my mouth.
Under normal circumstances, that rhythm would have come naturally.
But not today.
The words on the page refused to sink in.
Curiosity.
Curiosity about her kept pulling my focus apart.
Why had she reacted so defensively?
The question nagged at me, and I couldn't keep my eyes on the text.
'…Focus.'
But I pushed it aside.
I clenched my jaw and turned away from the curiosity.
Because I knew.
That simple curiosity of mine could become a kind of violence to someone else.
Pressing her with questions right now would be nothing more than prying open a wound out of idle interest. It would mean dragging back up a memory she was trying to bury.
She and I were similar enough that I understood.
She didn't want to let me into her world.
Knowing that, I didn't force my way closer.
I had no desire to trespass into a world that wasn't mine to enter.
Some time passed.
"Well then, please excuse me."
Sae-a, having finished her meal first, gave a small nod and rose from her seat.
"Sae-a."
"Yes?"
"You forgot your cardigan."
I pointed to the cardigan draped over the back of her chair.
"Ahem. Thank you."
She gave a small, dry cough, turned back, retrieved the cardigan, and started for the door again.
"Sae-a."
"What is it this time?"
"This time, you left your phone."
She stopped.
Like a wind-up doll whose spring had come loose, she creaked back around.
"…Thank you."
The words came out quieter than usual.
Barely above a murmur.
Watching her, I let out a small laugh.
"You're more scatterbrained than I expected."
"Sh— be quiet."
Her composure cracked.
A faint flush crept across Sae-a's face.
***
I needed money.
The longer time passed, the more that thought deepened in my mind.
For now, my father's tolerance was keeping me from being thrown out of the house — though calling it tolerance felt a bit odd.
Anyway.
Nothing lasts forever, and his patience would run out eventually.
'Yesterday was supposed to be allowance day.'
I checked my account. No deposit.
It seemed even that had been cut off.
I really needed to start looking for work.
Not that I'd have to grind myself to the bone the way I did in my past life.
Right now I was broke, not drowning in debt like I was back then.
I just needed to earn enough for Snowy and me to get by.
Snowy, by the way, was the name I'd given the kitten I'd taken in not long ago.
— Snowy?! You have to give it a more special name than that. Isn't that a little too lazy?
The image of Arisu throwing a fit over the name floated through my mind.
But what could I do — it had already stuck.
Besides, pets are supposed to have plain, simple names. That's how they live long lives.
At least, that's how it was in Korea.
Anyway.
A part-time job or manual labor didn't really appeal to me.
Not because I was afraid of hard work.
It was more that those jobs required naturally exchanging emotions with people over long stretches of time, and that part didn't sit well with me.
More than anything, it was inefficient.
'It's hard to make proper use of my strengths that way.'
My strengths were a sharper mind than most, and my ability.
Sure, being in good physical shape was an advantage too, but it ranked far below my intellect.
So what kinds of work relied primarily on the mind?
Tutoring?
I'd done it in my past life.
But arguing with students was a hassle, and waiting around for them to grasp a single concept felt like a waste of time.
Something that used my mind, without requiring me to deal with people for extended periods.
"Writing might be the best option after all."
At least for me, being a writer was a fairly solid choice.
The return on time invested was decent, and in my past life it had helped me chip away at my debt considerably.
But I couldn't afford to jump to conclusions.
This was Japan, not Korea.
Close as the two countries were, the culture and the market were different.
I couldn't assume my experience would translate directly.
"I should do some research."
Perched on the edge of my bed, I started looking into the Japanese web novel market.
The structure was straightforward: post work for free on major platforms, and titles with high readership get picked up by publishers for official release as light novels or manga.
'That's workable.'
I'd done it before, so starting again wouldn't feel like too much of a hurdle.
It seemed worth diving into seriously.
Just as my thoughts were beginning to settle, a banner ad on the side of the page caught my eye.
A streaming platform advertisement.
Streaming, huh.
I'd considered it once in my past life.
But the equipment costs weren't trivial, and the idea of keeping up reactions for hours on end in front of viewers never sat right with me, so I'd dropped it.
'I wonder how it works in Japan.'
No harm in looking.
I clicked the banner and entered the site.
A loading screen filled with cute characters flashed by briefly.
Then a feed of live broadcasts appeared.
Not knowing where to start, I clicked on one with a decent viewer count.
The streamer's name was Rea.
Live viewers: approximately three thousand.
A moment later, a bright, energetic voice came through.
— Got it. As expected, this game is way too easy.
In the lower right corner of the screen, a dark-haired female character was moving around.
Watching her mouth move in sync with the streamer's voice was oddly fascinating.
— I mean, I'm only playing around. I normally dominate this tier.
[Satoru donated 200 yen]
— Says the person who's been flailing around for two hours lol
— Yes, please keep it down. This is my promotion match, so sit back and watch quietly. And whoever set that mission, get your payment ready.
After watching for a bit, it wasn't all that different from Korean streaming.
Run content.
React to chat and donations. Generate laughs.
For someone who loved interacting with people and being in the spotlight, it was probably a perfectly viable career.
'Not for me, though.'
This was about as opposite to my nature as a job could get.
If I tried to make a living out of this, I wouldn't last long.
Right.
Good research.
I was about to close the stream when the streamer's character collapsed pathetically on screen.
A defeat screen appeared.
And then.
— Ah, shit.
A thick, fluent curse word I hadn't heard in a long time.
My head tilted on its own.
The pronunciation was too natural, too native — the kind a Japanese person would struggle to fake.
And the voice itself was completely different from the bright, lively tone from moments before. Lower. Somehow familiar.
"……"
One person came to mind.
***
The next day, at lunch.
I took my bento and headed to the student council room.
— Knock knock knock.
— You may come in.
I knocked and entered to find Sae-a, as expected, eating her lunch.
"No bento today — just bread?"
"Sometimes a change of pace isn't so bad. Consider it a mood reset."
Sip.
Sae-a took a quiet sip from a canned coffee.
I watched her for a moment, then took my seat.
The spot that had quietly become mine.
Not too far, not too close — just that distance.
I opened my bento.
The same familiar arrangement greeted me as always.
I took a sip of water, opened my textbook.
Then, after a brief pause, I spoke.
"Sae-a."
"Go ahead."
"Are you by any chance interested in streaming?"
I glanced over at her.
On the surface, she looked perfectly composed.
She was sipping her canned coffee with the same expression as always.
But I saw it.
"……"
Her eyes and the tips of her fingers, trembling as though the ground had shifted beneath her.